bagian dunia

For a Wanderer Soul

2011-07-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

I am trying
to reach the point where I can forgive you
and able to look back the memories with the touch of smile

I know I will reach that point.

Walking wounded, I may now
And shattered, you can say so…
But I will heal by the time goes by
As I would realize,
That I am worth more than just mourning the lost love

It does not matter how long it was spent,
as the love, care and hopes mounted are not bind to the dimension of time
they grew faster than the harvested rice field

Ah, if only there is a way to master the destiny
I would fill your life
with nothing but the colours of rainbow,
the sweetest of honey bee,
the fresh of morning due,
and the peace of the sound of water flows on the mountain

But who am I to tell someone’s heart?
not even Kings can order how it should be
as The True Owner Himself has given the bless of freedom upon it
and it may not be the things you desire

Dear wanderer soul,
In this wide universe of skies,
I sincerely wish you can find what you are looking for

Just watch your steps, if I may ask,
as sometimes the world hides endless through
And be careful,
as mines of traps can be spread around,
disguised under the sparks of beauties
- - -

I am heading
to the point where I will forgive you
and able to look back the memories with the touch of smile;
Healed.

I know I’ll get there.
Soon.

Cerita si Papan Tulis (arsip jadul SMU 3 IPA 2)

2011-07-02T09:15:00.001-07:00

Hoaaaaahmmmm....
Waaaahhh... udah pagi lagi
Oh iya, hari ini masuk tahun ajaran baru nih!
Setelah kurang lebih sebulan ditelantarin... akhirnya bakalan diperhatiin lagi sama anak anak..
Walaupun kadang nyebelin. Habis badanku yang mulus jadi kayak buah cempedak... putih semua..
Tapi itu emang udah tugasku sih.

Setelah tiga minggu, suasana yang kaku sudah mulai berganti akrab.
Aku sendiri sudah mulai hafal dengan wajah, nama dan tabiat mereka.
Ada Rizky yang suka jahil, Ernest yang... rada rada aneh kali ya... Koko - Toto yang suka ngocol, Rianti yang lincah, Sukma - Suzanny yang suka main bulu tangkis (waaaa...ngarang! itu mah Susi Susanti, Lily yang serius, Tigor yang jago bola...
Ada juga barisan anak anak maniesz yang berjilbab - ada Yovanka, Cindy, Nur Azizah, Ratu, Diah..
Oh iya, ada anak baru lho.. namanya Rendy. Tapi ya, ampuuunn...! Tiduuuurrr aja kerjaannya.

Tapi baru beberapa minggu, sudah ada anak yang pindah kelas. Jadi posisi ketua kelas sekarang dipegang sama anak yang namanya Widi. Dan masih banyak lagi anak yang lain yang bermacam macam tabiatnya.

Hmmmm.... sudah beberapa bulan aku jadi tumpuan tulisan di kelas ini. Otomatis aku sudah banyak menyaksikan peristiwa yang terjadi pada anak anak itu...

Gelak tawa mereka waktu Pak Simamora becerita tentang masa mudanya, atau muka tegang mereka saat diajari Bu Wiwi (kikikikikikik). Kegelisahan dan celingak celinguk mereka saat waktunya ulangan.. kekhawatiran dan perhatian mereka saat si Koko jatuh waktu olahraga.

Akupun pernah dijadikan alat untuk menghukum mereka.
Saat itu pas pelajaran fisika. Kebetulan yang mengajar waktu itu adalah wali kelas mereka, Pak Marzuki Siregar.
Entah kenapa, semua anak laki laki di kelas ini membenturkan kepalanya padaku.
Ada yang langsung... ada yang ragu ragu... ada yang mantap, ada juga yang pasrah... hahahahahahah....

Bikin geli sih kalau dipikir pikir... tapi haduuuhhhh... apa mereka ngga tau kalau badanku jadi sakit semua...

Tapi dua hari setelah peristiwa itu, aku menyaksikan hal yang luar biasa.
Anak anak itu menyiapkan sebuah kue ulang tahun untuk wali kelas mereka, tanpa ada rasa dendam.

Tidak bisa kulupakan ekspresi wajah yang terpancar dari Pak Siregar.
Kelihatan sekali bahwa ia sangat terharu ketika anak anak menyanyikan lagu ulang tahun dan memberi selamat satu persatu kepadanya.
Ah, rupanya guru yang terkenal galak ini ternyata bisa terharu juga, ya...

Dan kini, tak terasa tinggal dua bulan lagi mereka akan pergi dari kelas ini.
Walaupun berbeda-beda, tapi mereka ounya satu kelebihan yang menjadikan mereka 'lebih' daripada yang lain yaitu 'kekompakan'.

Yahhh... walaupun aku jarang diperhatikan, tapi aku cukup bangga jadi papan tulis kelas mereka.. :)

Letter to you, 26 July 2010, 00.10

2011-04-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum wr, wb

Kanda, how are you?
Hope you're doing fine..

My goodness, we have not been talking for quite a while, have we?

There were soo... many things happened in my end. And most of them were the process and results of my stubborn-ness, my pride, my stupidity.

And for all 'bad' things that happened to me, I always tried to blame and look for everybody's faults, except my own.
And all those times, I felt anxious worry, upset, angry... and not happy.

And so my conscious alerted me that there got to be something wrong.
And only when I begin to to look into myself, I could see things clearer.
The only one who was responsible for my unhappiness is actually myself.

I was too proud of myself, of what I could do, of what I have given, of what I have...

While the truth is: I have nothing.
And I can do none.
That all the things that I thought I have are actually owned by God.
All the abilities, talents, knowledge, achievements, belonging are 'amanah' or 'responsibilities' that I need to take a very careful of.

And my, how I was blind to think that I am 'someone' or 'something'... that I feel that I 'can'. Or in Sundanese 'ngarasa bisa'.

Because once I think that 'I can' or 'enough' - then I stop improving.
And when someone stops improving, they will stuck at where ever they are, like a frog inside a coconut shell. Feels that he / she is at the top, but it really is not.

May God grants us a continuous self-awareness to realize that we are only His humble creatures, could do nothing without His help.

And may He always lighten up our ways.

Good night, Kanda...
Sleep and rest well...

Mom

2010-01-07T01:53:00.000-08:00

I was born in a humble and modest family.
I would say we might be poor in belongings/possessions, but we are rich in heart.

My father was a writer. A drama script writer. Not a big / famous one, though. Actually, you can say that he was an unemployment, because he only wrote when there were orders. And the order weren't often. Luckyly, he could do some reflexology massage. So at some or other times, people would use his service. But the money was very small.
My mom is a full-time housewife and a very good mother.
I had a big brother, Wisynu (now 33) and little sister Dayu (now 27).

We spent our childhood very happily in used to be a slum area of Jakarta.
It was so much fun!

And so... although we only stayed in rental houses (we still do now ) and moved several of times, rarely had decent foods to eat (there were those times when we only able to ate rice with salt, or rice with chili sauce, or made the rice into porridge), we were happy.

Because Mom, being very intelligent, creative, patient and devoted as she is, always made us feel that it was such an adventure!

And we never asked too much or complaining (we never complain or sulk for any toys or clothes or anything) - because she gave us the understanding and explained to us about the situations.

Other than that, she is a good cook, so we always find our foods to be delicious, and she would sew our clothes from left-over materials and made cool clothes for us...

She puts in us the principles of good manner, kindness, honesty, truthful, respect and tolerance through bed time stories which she knew from her Mom, or the ones she created herself.

She tought us about fairness and sharing by dividing everything the same for all of us (for the kids and also for the parents). If we got one piece of cake, then we would get each smaller pieces of the cake. If we got fruits, Mom would divide them so that each of us would get the same amount and size of the fruits. So none of us would be unhappy or dissatisfied.

She tought us creativity through her cook, or her sewing. Always able to find ways - using the available materials (no matter how limited they are) and made them into masterpiece...

She tought us about appreciation.
Mom always says that your words and manners are very important.
We should say 'thank you' to anyone who does something for us - no matter how small it is to show them our appreciation and respect.

There was once that my brother came to our house with dirt all over his feet, and made the whole floor dirty with mud. It was because he brought back wild flowers from plants which grew in the middle of a swamp nearby our place.
My Mom did not angry at all to him, despite the fact that she must do the sweeping and the mopping all over again.
Instead, she took the flowers, put them in a vase, kissed him and said 'thank you', and clean him.
"Always appreciate the good intentions behind, although it appears not pretty"

We should say 'sorry' to anyone if we make any mistake. Saying 'sorry' for our mistakes is not a weakness. It is a strength instead. We must always try not to hurt others' feelings.

She never laughed at our ideas when we were kids - no matter how silly it was, and she always supported them.

I remember one day, I thought I had this brilliant idea! - the invention of the century!
I found that by walking with one of our hand spinning (big round spins) - will make us move faster...
I told Mom about it, and she walked with her hand spinning, all the way across the street until I couldn't see her again as she turned.
I was soo.. proud of myself at that time... Now to think of it again, it was soooo damn silly! hahahahahah.

But I think it was because of that (her supports towards our ideas) which make us not afraid of speaking our minds or giving our ideas.

She tought us loyalty, sacrifice and devotion as well as obedience by being a pure housewife despite of her desire to continue her study and get a career - simply because my father said no. As he believes that the role of a wife is within the house - to take care of the family. (well, I may have different opinion about this, but I still appreciate her decision)

She tought us love towards our home land (especially the land of West Java) by singing us traditional songs before we went to bed, or at any occasions we are together - and she has angelic voice too...

She can also be very much fun, not being a traditional mother. She always try to understand what is happening. She likes to joke and irritating us (in a fun way!).
When we were kids, she did things like: hiding and surprising us, drawing a face on my brother's bald head when he was a baby... hahahahahah

She is basically our friend.
That's why you may notice that we would have girls' day out (either the three of us go out together, or only me and her, or Dayu with her) to movies or performances and dining out afterwards.
And this is why there is no secrets between us because we are friends.
And it is better for her that we let her know anything because that means we appreciate her - taking her as 'insider'.

All and all, she has major role in shaping us as we are right now.
On how we see life, and how we interact.
We could never do enough for her - as we owe her our lives.
Her happiness, is one of my goals in life...

Ketika Sang Rembulan Balik Mencinta Sang Pungguk

2009-08-07T03:51:00.000-07:00

Saat pungguk betina mencinta Sang Rembulan jantan,
diusirnya jauh jauh segala harapan

"Ini cukup rasaku saja.
Mencintanya dengan merindunya...
Mencintanya dengan menatapnya,
Dan meresapi terang samar yang sampai jika langit tak berkabung mega"

Sadar akan terbatasnya sang waktu,
Sang pungguk memilih jujur berwakca
"Aku cinta padamu!", serunya, menitip kata pada hembusan Sang Bayu

Dan tak letih ini dilakukannya,
semenjak raga mengenal cantik Sang Rembulan

Pun mengerti,
akan jarak dan beda yang kadung terjadi,
namun ini tidak pula menghalangi

Pernah kawan mempertanyakan,
Kenapa sampai gerangan
Anggap saja demikian
Hati sang pungguk sungguh nian keras kepala
Tak bisa dibujuk bujuk
Pun tak mempan walau dirajuk

Sampai satu waktu,
saat garis edar tak terlalu jauh dari bumi,
bercakaplah keduanya

"Aku juga mencintamu", balas Sang Rembulan

Dan terpanalah alam semesta
Sang punggukpun seakan tak percaya

"Walau demikian, lantas mau apa?", lanjut Sang Rembulan
"Ini sudah garis Sang Hyang Murba Wisesa.
Seandainya aku tercipta
Pula sebagai pungguk
Mungkin semua akan berbeda
Tapi bukan begitu kenyataannya...
Dan kita harus terima

Sendiri bukan berarti sendirian.
Aku akan baik baik saja.
Kaupun carilah pungguk sepadan.
Sebagai sejatinya teman seperjalanan"

Dan berlalulah kembali Sang Rembulan...
Tinggalkan pungguk dalam kecamuk

Saat cinta akhirnya bersambut,
Saat yang sama ia terenggut.
Bahkan tak lagi bisa titip rindu pada Sang Bayu

Namun tak sesal secercahpun ada pada pungguk
Tetap bersyukur mencinta Sang Rembulan
Karna dengannya belajar bijaksana,
Pun berbagai bentuk akan cinta

"Aku tidak akan apa apa,
Sungguh akan baik baik saja"

Kembali pungguk merenda sang malam
Menanti sang fajar yang menjelang

Kencan dengan Sang Kekasih

2009-07-28T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hari ini, kencanku dengan Sang Kekasih.
Sudah lama rasanya, tidak berdua duaan saja denganNya.

Kupikir kami memang perlu melakukannya.

Ralat: aku yang memerlukannya.

Setelah sekian lama terpantek layar monitor,
dan jadikan tempat kerja jadi rumah pertama,
selama berbulan lamanya,
Hehehe... akhirnya tubuhkupun menyerah juga.

Balur balur merah jadi penghias cantik badan yang cuma satu satunya.
Depan-belakang, leher sampai tangan.

Otakku pun, masih agak menolak juga untuk kuajak kerjasama.

Karnanya, kuputuskan untuk pergi kali ini.
Jatah sisa 60 hari cutiku rasanya masih mencukupi beberapa jam yang akan kupakai hari ini.

Sebelum pergi, aku mampir beli UC1000 orange, susu Bear Brand,
Nu Green Tea dan camilan kecil.
Persiapan kalo perut kukuruyuk minta diisi.

Yep! Berangkaaaaaaatttt...

Nyasar nyasar sedikit karna Pak Ojegnya ngga terlalu hafal jalan, ga apalah...
Yang penting sampai dengan selamat ke Planetarium, Taman Ismail Marzuki.
Salah satu tempat favoritku di muka bumi.

Beli satu lembar tiket di loket depan, lantas naik ke lantai dua.
Sudah lama benar rasanya ngga ke sini.
Terakhir mungkin tahun 2001, waktu nganter anak-anak lesku dari Kebon Jeruk.

Dan... di sanalah Dia beri aku perhiasan yang lebih berharga dan abadi
dari permata, zamrud atau ruby di dunia: bintang gemintang.

Ribuan banyaknya, ah bukan, jutaan...
Berkerlap kerlip menyapaku.
Di Jakarta jarang sekali bisa melihat bintang sebanyak ini.
Cuma di Bira, Sulawesi Selatan, aku ingat pernah melihat mereka secemerlang ini.

Perbandingan besarnya planet bumi dibanding Sang Matahari,
Sang Matahari dibanding gugusan planet dan bintang lain,
Lantas Galaksi Bima Sakti, yang juga hanya salah satu dari entah berapa banyak galaksi di jagad raya yang maha luas ini...

Aih, aku jadi kembali tidak percaya diri dengan cintaku ini...
Sungguh bukan apa-apa...
Sama sekali tak berharga.
Dijadikan persembahan: pantaspun tidak.
Lantas, apa lagi yang kupunya?

Selesai pertunjukan, melangkah aku ke gedung bioskop 21 di sebelah dalam area Taman ini.
Harry Potter tengah tayang di Teater 4.
Film ini memang populer. Novelnyapun jadi bahan koleksi.
Kubeli satu tiket agak ke tengah. Kursi D10, kalau tidak salah.
Banyak kursi yang terisi.
Tapi kosong satu kursi di samping kiriku.
Mungkin Dia ingin aku tahu Dia ada di sampingku...

Filmnya aku bilang lumayan, meski plot percintaan antar tokohnya terkesan sedikit dipaksakan. Entah. Mungkin aku salah. Aku juga bukan ahli di bidangnya.

Di perjalanan pulang, memandang ke luar jendela taksi Putra yang aku tumpangi,
lewat bulan separuh dan langit yang sama sekali tak keruh,
tersenyumlah Dia di sana.
Khusus untukku.

KataNya:
Tak masalah meski rasaku hanya sebesar zarah...
Dia akan tetap mendatangiku berlari

Bahkan, tak pernah sedetikpun Dia jauh dariku.
Selalu memelukku, lewat udara yang menyelubungi paru paru.

Selalu menyapaku,
lewat lambaian dahan dan daun yang tertiup angin...
Dan berbisik lewat gemerisik dan gemercik

"Aku dekat", kataNya...
"Karena itu, jangan takut"

Dan akupun tak berani untuk takut lagi.

"Tidakkah Aku cukup bagimu?", tanyanya...

Duh... tidak berani,
Sungguh aku tidak berani...

Meminta terlalu banyak,
Aku takut tidak mensyukuri nikmat.

Maka, akan kujalani dengan ikhlas peran yang diamanahkan padaku
Dengan Dia ada di sisi
Sampai nanti,
Sampai mati.

The Serenity Prayer

2009-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Loving You

2009-04-21T23:24:00.001-07:00

'Loving you' seems to be a 'constant factor' of me...

Your response or your 'outer forms' are irrelevant;
because it requires none.

I shall never regret the fact that I did;
that I am; and that I will

Your 'essence' remains beautiful for me,
regardless what the 'time' and the 'distance' would say...

You are loved.
And you'll always be loved.

-Me-

Sesuatu

2009-04-06T04:58:00.000-07:00

Ada yang membuncah dari dalam
menyeruak
menelusup diam diam
tinggalkanku
bertanya

Kepada Setiap Jiwa

2009-03-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

Kepada setiap jiwa,
yang telah, sedang, dan akan menyilang jalan hidupku...

Sadarkah, betapa setiapmu adalah indah
Salah satu karya teragung Sang Pencipta
Tak peduli apapun yang kau punya, dan yang tak kau punya
Yang kau lakukan, maupun yang tak kau lakukan

Dan betapa setiapmu demikian berarti
Pada peran apapun yang diamanahkan pada diri
Aih, andai kau memahami

Kesendirian adalah imajinasi,
Sebab sejatinya diri, selalu ditemani
Kesakitan adalah mimpi,
Karnanya biarkanlah ia pergi
Kehilangan hanyalah bayangan,
Lantaran sejatinya Empu, hanya Tunggal yang Satu

Jangan terlena pada kenangan
Karna kinilah yang kau punya sebenarnya
Songsong dengan gagah masa depan
Lukis takdir dengan warna warnimu sendiri!

Andai kau belum tau,
Mengenalmu adalah anugrah
Keberuntungan yang tak terbayangkan

Dan betapa kau dicinta
Begitu dipuja
Rasakanlah
Pada tiap detak
Tiap kejap
Tiap denyut
Tiap langkah
Tiap hela

Ah, dan satu lagi...
Sadarkah,
gurat bibirmu adalah penghias dunia yang termegah
Lebih manis dari madu bunga kahyangan
Lebih cemerlang dari mentari di bumi bidadari

Karnanya, berilah hadiah pada semesta
Hantarkan senyummu, meski satu kali saja

Dancing

2009-02-19T04:59:00.000-08:00

(BDM #1: 4-6 minutes)

(Opening Dance): ± 30 seconds
Yamuna ki tatapare,
Nacatta kanayya,
That-that-thay..ya
Bajette payale chum
Na na na na na na na
A thei thet, tha thei thet, a thei thet
Tha tha thei, that ha thei, tha the tha!

Jane Austin, a British novelist and writer, said:
“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.”

Maybe that’s why I love to dance so much…

Dancing for me is one of my passions in life.
Although my profession is a researcher in a marketing research company (and you must as well see that I don’t do it that often… :P ), I always consider my self as a dancer.
Dancing is already carved in my bones, and runs in my blood…

It was all started when I was a kid.. maybe in my first year of elementary school or so…
I still remember one time I cried the whole day asking my parents to make me able to join a traditional Jaipong dance class in my neighborhood. (Jaipong is the West Javanese dance, by the way…)
They only allowed kids of RT/RW staffs to join the class, because it is a program of the Kelurahan. Fortunately, I was finally able to join and be the member.

It was really exciting to be able to perform in a lot of places… Taman Mini, Jakarta Fair, Taman Ria Senayan, and some other places I couldn’t remember…
and for a kid who seldom go anywhere, it was like having recreation as well.

And it is also quite nice to get some awards from dancing competitions…

But these dancing and performing activities didn’t last that long, because the area where I grew up in Kuningan was already aimed for this big project of Rasuna Apartment – now is Rasuna Epicentrum.
Everybody went to different places, and the group was dismissed.

After that, there weren’t many chances for me to learn or to perform any dance; except few times in the 17th August Independence Day celebrations.

You can imagine how I miss dancing…

The chance to learn dance came several years after that, when I was in my final year of my college.
I got to know this place called Jawaharlal Nehru Indian Cultural Center in Jalan Imam Bonjol, and they teach Indian dance.
And so I joined.

And you know what…?
When I first touched the dance floor, when I first heard the music, and saw the movements of the teacher and the students…
I realized that it still lived in me…
The excitement is still there… the passion is still there… and the happiness is still there.
I felt home; a place where I belong.

Indian dance is very interesting because it has many ways to express and communicate your feeling.
It’s not only using body movements; but also using facial expressions:
You can be shy (with movement), in love (with movement), in pain (with movement), angry (with movement), seducing (with movement), or happy (with movement).

After all, a dance, (as well as other kinds of arts) is the way of artists to communicate and to express something.
And a dancer needs to be able to convey well on what the song and the choreography trying to communicate.
You need to dance not only with your body,
but also with your heart, with your soul.

Dancing for me now is more about personal indulgence, a practice of meditation.
So although I couldn’t learn to dance formally again, I can still learn how to dance from the great youtube.

My dream is to learn various types of dances: Javanese, Sumatrans, Chinese, or other types of dances.
Not ballet, though… Let’s say I’m just being… realistic… :P

And later on, when I got settled with my own family, I would make ‘art’ performances special for my future husband and kids.
Complete with a VIP invitation.
It’s going to be more like a drama with dances and dialogues, as well as relevant costume performed solo by me.

It can be a tale of Ramayana / Mahabharata from India, Nawang Wulan of Java, or Sam Pek Eng Tay from China.
Not the story of Princess Aurora, though… because I will only sleep during the whole time…

So, what do you call a person like me?
Romantic?
Poetic?
Artistic?
Loonatic? :P

Angela Monet said:
“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

So you can call me anything you want;
I’m just going to be keep on dancing…

Anyone feels like dancing with me?

12 May 2008

2009-01-24T21:26:00.001-08:00

Assalamualaikum, Kanda,

How are you today?
Hope you had a good day... :)

Kanda, a few of my colleagues know about these letters I'm writing to you.
The mug, and my plan of having the VIP performances.
I let them now.

This is necessary as I don't want them to continue relating me with him.
It's not very good.

Well, their reactions are various.
Some of them are skeptical.
They said I'm being 'over' or 'too much';.

"What if he turned out to be not as this romantic?
Not understanding all of these?
Not really care & not really appreciate all the things you already did and will do for him??"

...I try to understand that they were reacting like that because they're worried about me.
Afraid that I would get dissappoined. That I'd eventually get hurt.

Well... first of all, I really believe that you are a man who is able to appreciate things,
even though you probably don't understand yet.
I also believe that you are a man of honor... who will honor things.

But at the worst scenario...
I'd say... I'm doing this not because I want you to adore me or anything...
These are only the expressions of how I feel about you...
The way I express my gratitude, my respect, my love... with a pure sincerity.
Not to expect anything. So I won't lose anything... :)

But it does occur in my mind that I'm doing all... that based on my own understanding..
based on my way...

I should have also think from your point of view...
And I will.
The only thing is... I don't know it yet.
If only you can help me and let me know...

What do you like?

Do you like if I cook for you?
No problem.
I like to cook.
I just don't have much chance to do it yet.
But I will...

What cookings / types of food do youlike?
Indonesian? Italian? Japanese? Chinese?
Hmm... I'll find the recipes later...

What else?
Do you like sport? or art?

Do you like to read?
What kinds of book?

How about movies? Or hobbies?
Do you like fishing?
I'd love to learn some fishing! :)

Or do you like travelling?
... That's even better!!! :)

Kanda, I think we can have some fun!!

...I know... I know...
Our lives shouldn't be something which are very selfish...
I understand that, Kanda...

Don't worry... our lives would still be dedicated for others...
I'm reading M Yunus' book 'Creating The World Without Poverty', by the way..
I think he is a man with both vision and action.

Anyway... that'll still be our mission in life.
But in doing that... let's be happy :)

9 May 2008

2009-01-24T20:59:00.000-08:00

Kanda...
Alhamdulillah...
I can do it!!
I finally able to let him go...

It was (and still is) very hard to do...
But I think I can do it.

I pray the Lord to give me strengths into my weak heart...
And He did.

It was quite awkward the first time.
I mean... after the last meeting with him, I was really hurt.
And so I wasn't really sure how to act when I meet him again.

But it went quite smooth...
Awkward at the first time...
But it was OK later on.

I'll tell you more about him later.
I owe this to you.

By the way,
I bought you a present today.
It's a mug. A clay mug by F. Widayanto.
He's a very good artist. And his works are pretty.
I am actually a fan of his artworks.

Anyway, I think it'll be nice to serve you with coffee or tea during your work, or relax time.

Hope you'll like it. :)

2 May 2008

2009-01-24T20:45:00.000-08:00

Kanda,
'Giving' is such an amazzing thing, isn't?

It is able to make us feel good...
Very good...

A theraphy of our hollow and dry souls...
A cure for wounded souls.

Actually, to think it over,
it gives us more than what we give...

Isn't God amazing?
(silly question... I know you know it already)

Thursday, 10/4/2008

2009-01-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

Now, you may wonder why I call you 'kanda'...
Well... if you're an Indonesian, I think you already know.

But if you're not Indonesian:
'Kanda' means 'big brother'.
It shows respect.
It is equal to 'kakak' or 'abang'.

Wednesday, 2/4/2008

2009-01-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

Hi !
Assalamualaikum wr,wb
How are you?
May Allah grants you a beautiful day...

I got a bit cold today. My nose is full and I feel a bit dizzy.
But it is better now after I dance. But now a bit tires and sleepy.

Oh, by the way...
Have I told you that I'm a dancer?
I am a dancer. Always was. Always am. And always will.

It's in my blood.
Printed in my soul. Carved in my bones.

I've always love to dance.
It is something I always love to do.
Actually, there are 3 kinds of activities which I would always love to do no matter what:
1. Dancing
2. Swimming
3. Eating ! :P

Rather than to do other sport (except for swimming, of course)...
I prefer dance. Hopefully it'll bring good to my health. Amien.

Whenever I dance, or swim;
I would feel relaxed...
For me, those are my form of meditation.

What I love the most is to swim at night (around 10-11pm),
where no one is there; in an outdoor pool.

I would do 'gaya punggung' where I face the stars and swim, or even not swimming at all...
Only floating and follow where the water take my body..
It's very quie and I can only hear the sound of water...
It's one od the most beautiful moment...
I hope I can share it with you...

Oh... and the dance...
Other than for my personal indulgence, do you know that I learn those dances for you? :)

I imagine later on... when we alredy be together,
we would have special moments together.

I'll make a personal VIP invitation just for you,
for shows which I would present you the dances...
And it's no going to be a boring show, I promise you...

They will be in the form of mini theatre/drama;
with the dance, dialogues, and characters;
including the costumes which matches the overall theme / story.

I will also prepare the set of the 'stage';
or the rooms on where we would held this performance.

It can be the tale of Devdas from India,
Sam Pek Eng Tay from China,
or Nawang Wulan of Java.

It can also be a tale from Ramayana or Mahabharata,
where I would play Sinta, or Srikandi,
or whoever the character is.

It can also be the tale of the mermaid, or Swan Lake.

It won't be about princess Aurora, though...
'Cos she does nothing but sleep! :)

This is why I would also want to learn as many kinds of dances in the world!

Well, probably not balet, though...
'Cos it's kinda late.
Because I know it needs to start from a very young age to be able to get to the desired/required shape of the body.

I'm 28 now...
Not trying to be pessimistic...
But being realistic instead...
Hahaha...

Anyway, the performance shall be conducted minimum once a month.

I'll personally prepare and make the special invitation for you.

Gosh... hope you like these kinds of art performances...

Tuesday, 1/4/1980

2009-01-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

Hi!
How was your day today?
I hope it was good as ever! :)

You ask me what this is?
Well... as you can see, it's a piece of ticket movie.

I went to watch a movie with mom & my sister Dayu last Sunday; after the Shiratun Nabi in Lenteng Agung mosque.

Mom has not watch the movie anymore since years ago. So she was very happy.
We watched 'Ayat-Ayat Cinta". It was quite good.
I am happy because we are able to produce good quality of movie; and watched by more than one million viewers.

I'm very proud to see that out of four theatres provided, all of them are Indonesian movies. We have a lot to improve, though...But still... it feels nice :)

This made me think of my meeting with my high school friends yesterday.
I didn't expect that in our generation (well... my generation) there are people who care to this nation, this counry, the people.

I was wrong.
There are people who still have the nationalism and willing to do something about it.
Long live Indonesia...!
Long live the people...!
Bangkitlah!! It's about time !!!
(oops... sorry... I got carried away...)

Anyway, back to my story about last Sunday...

Well... at the time we arrived at the movie place at Depok, we have runned out the ticket. We got the 4.45 pm play. So we had nearly 3 hours to spend.

So we looked around... for shoes.
Mom had been looking for silver shoes which matches her silver purse since 2002!
Six years she has been waiting...

And when I saw her eyes sparkling with happiness... and her face decorated with her bog smile... :) Nothing can beat the feeling...
It was really good.
And I hink I'm addicted to it... hahaha...

It goes the same when I saw the same sparks in Dayu's eyes with her new bag and shoes which match each other...
She was not as expressive as Mom, but still you can feel the same nice feeling...

It was also the addiction of the feeling which also lead me to see the same sparks in father's eyes when he tried and wear his new watch.
And when I saw the gleam of proud in his face...
:) I don't care how much to spend anymore..

... Now don't get me wrong...
I completely understand about the importance of saving and the concept of fortunate vs. unfortunate people...

Don't worry. It's not a lifestyle.
It's just something which is one-time-kind-of-thing.
I think it's ok.
I know you'll understand. :)

It's just that... to see those sparks.. it's priceless.
Beside, it is for them that I live and breathe.
Praise Allah to born me in this beautiful family.
At least this is what I can do for them.
I know you'll understand...

Friday, 28/3/2008

2009-01-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

Dear you,

Hope it's OK for you - having me call your name as: you.
It's because I don't know your name yet, or anything related to your identity.

But I know you.
You must be a beautiful person..
Beautiful in your heart, your soul, and in your mind..

You ask me how do I know?
Well... that's very easy to answer.
It's because I pray The Lord so.

I pray to Him: that if He ever grant me a spouse; a husband...
then would He please bless and grants me a husband who will be able to bring both of us to Allah's ridho.
As... that is our purpose in life.

And so... my husband would automatically has the qualities required to do the task.
Amien.

I really hope you don't think of me as a crazy person of writing to you... even before we ever meet; or have this bond of ours.

I just want to start our friendship even from now.
As you'll be my best friend.
From these letters, you will be able to know about what happen in my life, my feelings towards everything, and everything about me.
That's what friends are for, right?
To know, to share, and to support each other.

You ask me how would you help me with my problem - although we have never meet?
Well, sometimes listening is a very powerful help.
You may not be able to help to solve my problems yet; but you are listening to me through these letters.
And that's a major help already.

I wish I can be there beside you now to also help you when you need someone.
But we shall not be worry or complaining...
How can us??
We have Allah with us.
And that's more than enough... :)

I'll tell you about a lot of things later...
But right now I'd like to let you know that today they made it official for me becoming a Research Manager for qualitative here, at Acorn Indonesia.

M frances wrote an email to all staffs about the promotion...
And we had a 'bakso jangkung' party in the afternoon.

I realize this is not at all about a fancy tittle or anything like that.
It's a huge responsibility and challenge.
An amanah from Allah which I'd have to be responsible of later when I meet Him.

As of now, my responsibility lays to the clients, to the people who are working in this company, to my family, and to my self.

It won't be easy.
But it is not impossible either.
Wish me luck with this!

Bismillahirrahmanirahiim...

May Allah always leads us in every path we take.
Amien.

To: you

2009-01-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

My soul mate,
My best friend,
My partner,
My imam,
My love...

whoever you are...
and where ever you may be...

Rayi

2009-01-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hmm… hmm…
Aku bingung sendiri, akan apa yang harus kutuliskan di sini…
Apa mungkin, terbatasnya kata-kata, bisa lengkap menggambarkan dan mewakilkan perasaan dan ikatan yang ada…

Semata-mata hanya atas karunialah, bisa hidup berdampingan dengannya.

Karna lihatlah!
Betapa indahnya dia…

Salah satu bayi tercantik yang pernah kulihat di dunia…
Di kampungku di Pedurenan Haji Cokong dulu (kini sudah tak ada, karena dibangun salah satu proyek raksasa di Jakarta: Rasuna Episentrum), siapa yang bisa menandingi kelucuannya?

Pantas saja, saat dia berusia balita, jika sore tiba, ada beberapa anak laki-laki kecil mengintipnya… saling mendorong untuk bisa menyapanya…
Namun ini juga, yang nyaris membuat kami kehilangan dia.
Ditemukan oleh tetangga, hampir dibawa oleh tukang loak entah kemana,
lantaran mencoba mengikutiku asyik bermain dan tak ingin diikutinya.
Hampir aku tidak bisa memaafkan diriku karnanya.

Waktu dan segala peristiwa yang mengiringinya,
membuatnya tumbuh jadi sosok yang luar biasa.
Setidaknya di mataku.

Baja adalah tekad dan kemauannya.
Namun sutera, adalah hati dan perasaannya.
Jika ada yang namanya Srikandi,
Maka dialah Pratiwi.

Berbekal tabungannya sendiri, berangkat merantau kuliah di Lampung sana.
Tak tega rasanya mengingatnya, sebab ia harus bertahan hidup hanya dari kiriman yang tak layak pula.

Entah berapa ratus malam ia harus berkompromi dengan rasa lapar di perutnya, kalau ingin ada sisa sampai akhir bulan menyapa.
Pun tidak bisa sering kami menyambanginya di sana.
Jauh jarak dan biaya, adalah tembok raksasa yang tidak bisa kami lewati ketika itu.
Hingga demam berdarah dan malaria menjangkitinya, sampai kecelakaan yang membuatnya terlempar di jalan raya.

Namun di sana pula, ia temukan sejatinya dirinya.
Merasa dia adalah dia.
Menjadi dia, dirinya sendiri.
Tidak lagi di bawah bayang-bayang,
Sesuatu yang menurutku adalah ilusi semata,
Karna ia tidak sadar betapa cemerlangnya dia.

Berkiprah dan berprestasi,
Berjuang dan mandiri.
Eksis di sebuah media kampus yang lumayan ternama: Teknokra.

Disayang oleh semua:
kawan-kawannya, saudara kawan-kawannya, sampai orang tua kawan-kawannya.
Bukti luhurnya budi pekerti, bisa menitipkan diri.

Wajar memang, karena belanya pun kepada mereka, tidak usah dipertanyakan lagi.
Menangis saat mereka sedih,
Dan tertawa saat mereka bahagia.
Malah kadang, rela kehilangan miliknya yang berharga - untuk mereka.

Satu lagi: ketulusan untuk berbagi.
Ketika Tuhan memberikan lebih,
Sekali-sekali tidak dihabiskannya sendiri.

Salutku tidak habis-habisnya,
Karena dialah yang membelikanku alat komunikasi,
Semata-mata dari kelebihan kiriman yang diterimanya.
Pun memberikan sebuah mesin jahit plus sedikit modal usaha bagi orang tua seorang kawannya, yang dikebiri pemerintah hidup dan kehidupannya, lantaran dicurigai terlibat organisasi terlarang waktu mudanya.
Itu pun, semata-mata dari kelebihan kiriman yang diterimanya.

Bangga dan cinta,
Hanya itulah yang aku punya untuknya.

Rasa syukur yang tak terukur,
Bisa berbagi masa bersamanya.
Saat jalan bersama di girls’ day out, atau simply duduk duduk di beranda.
Berceloteh dan berbagi cerita…
Tentang rasa,
tentang masa,
tentang cinta.

Menyaksikannya terluka, menyakitiku melebihi luka itu sendiri.
Melihatnya tertawa, serasa aku memiliki dunia.
Damai, adalah memandangnya dalam lelapnya,
mengusap rambutnya, dan mengecup keningnya.

Orang bijak berkata:
Jangan terlalu jika mencinta
Namun kataku: ah, biarlah…

Tentang kini:
Kataku: hadapilah…
Karna ialah yang akan membuatmu jadi lebih kuat,
Dan berharga jadi manusia

Tentang masa depan:
Kataku: mengalirlah…
Lukis dunia dengan warna-warni semaumu!
Jangan pernah merasa terpenjara dengan apapun jua,
Karena sayapmu kan bebas membawamu ke tempat manapun kau suka.

Haaa…jika ada yang mempertanyakan cintaku padanya,
Maka aku akan hanya terkekeh geli:
Bagaimana mungkin?
Hidupku adalah cintaku kepadanya itu sendiri.
Menafikannya, adalah menafikan darah yang mengalir di jantung dan nadiku ini.

Bahkan meski esensiku sudah tak berdimensi,
Dalam sunyi, akan tetap terdengar gaung hatiku lirih:
“I, tapa?
Tayang lunthuna eteh...
Tayang-tayang-tayang, tayang lunthunaa…,
Mau-mau-mau, mau sama lunthuna eteh…”

Ukuran Penting!!!

2009-01-17T04:47:00.000-08:00

Coba liat ke arah bawah...
Tapi pake mata aja... kepalanya jangan ikutan nunduk...

Nah, kalo pandangan udah kealingan sama pipi,
Itu artinya: udah BAHAYAAA...!!!

wakakakaka....

Senandung Cinta

2009-01-02T11:48:00.000-08:00

Sepertinya,
Aku tidak bisa lari lagi dariMu

Serapih apapun kusembunyi,
Sejauh apapun ku berlari,
Tetap Kau temukan aku lagi

Selayak tak lelah kucurangi,
Lebih tak letih Kau sambangi

Berkali-kalipun aku khianati,
Tak putus-putusnya setia temani

"Aku di sini", ujarMu
Meski hanya sayup kudengar
Malah kadang cuma sunyi
Karna hingar bingar tak terperi

Duhai, namun,
Rupanya tak bisa aku lari lagi

Bagaimana mungkin?
Kau ada dimana-dimana

"Aku di sini", bisikMu
Pada vodka sloki ke lima
Pada Marlboro sampai Sampoerna
Di Inul Daratista sampai Metallica
Bahkan saat birahi membara

"Akupun di sini", gaungMu
Pada bungkusan nasi sisa,
Sampai restoran bintang lima
Pada rupa elok,
Maupun punggung yang bongkok

Pada air mata,
Atau tawa bahagia
Pada amarah,
dan juga cinta

"Aku tetap di sini, akan tetap di sini"
Pada cantiknya Sang Rembulan,
Cemerlangnya Sang Mentari,
Sejuknya Sang Embun,
Dan istirahatnya Sang Senja

Kemarin, hari ini, maupun esok hari
--
Bagaimana tidak jatuh hati?

Meski rasa ini tak berharga
Secuilpun tak bermakna
Persembahan bagi Yang Mulia

Sampai saatnya nanti
Terperas habis keringat sendiri
Dan gemetaran lututku tak bisa lari lagi

Fana-lah aku di dalamMu
Pulang kembali
Pada peraduan sejati

Cakra Buwana Silih Wawangi

2009-01-01T03:59:00.001-08:00

Silih Asah, Asih, Asuh

Paheuyeuk-heuyeuk leungeun

Nulung ka nu butuh

Nalang ka nu susah

Nganteur ka nu sieun

Nya'angan ka nu poekkeun

Ngubaran ka nu gering

New Dawn

2008-12-31T08:48:00.001-08:00

The past are only good when they become lessons.

They're not to be regretted to,
or ashamed of.

Happy New Year, everyone...

Sengsara Membawa Nikmat

2008-12-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

Beberapa malam yang lalu, gak sengaja gw ketemu K Jun, kakak kelas gw waktu kuliah dulu di kantor. Ternyata dia adalah salah satu calon responden Fokus Grup Diskusi yang diadain kantor gw. Plus dua malam setelahnya, gw juga ketemu Tatum, teman satu angkatan, waktu lagi beli buku di Gramedia.

Kikikiki... ingatan gw jadi melayang di seputar mereka...

Waktu gw masih kuliah tingkat satu, sekitar tahun 98/99 (duh, jadul banget ya), gw plus beberapa teman ikut jadi panitia untuk sebuah kegiatan kampus yang kebetulan tempatnya di Darmaga (gw ngga inget kegiatannya apa).

Kak Jun (yang sekarang ini gw baru tahu dipanggil 'Bobby') adalah senior yang jadi semacam koordinator kegiatannya. Waktu itu ceweknya yang ikut kalo ngga salah Ade Tatum, Wahyu, Dewi plus Gusti. Cowoknya ada dua orang: Donny (yang sekarang jadi suaminya Tatum) sama siapa, gitu... gw lupa.

Meski kita kuliahnya di kampus tercinta di Baranangsiang, tapi kegiatannya ada di kampus Darmaga nan jauh.

Hari itu, kita kemaghriban di sana, jadi mampir di kost-an teman cewek (yang panitia juga) buat numpang sholat. Tapi yang cewek-ceweknya aja, Sedangkan yang cowok sholatnya pada ke musholla yang ngga terlalu jauh, tapi juga ngga deket-deket amat sih...

For your information, kost-an cewek (waktu itu) biasanya pintu + jendelanya tertutup rapat. Soalnya penghuninya biasanya banyak yang pake jilbab. Dan supaya mereka (kami) bisa bergerak bebas (buka jilbab di dalam kost-an), ya.. tertutuplah semuanya.

Selang beberapa lama setelah maghriban, kita pamitan pulang.
Maka, dibukalah sang pintu kost-an.

Anehnya, para alas kaki yang tadi kita pakai dan ada di teras pada ngga ada semua…
Kecuali… sepatu gw.

Sontak, kita carilah di sekitar teras itu.
Tapi udah nyari kemana-mana, tetap aja para sepatu temen-temen gw yang mereknya Converse, dan yang bermerek lainnya itu pada ngga ada.

Karena ngga ketemu-ketemu juga, dan para cowok dua itu belum datang, kita berkesimpulan: mungkin mereka yang pada iseng, ngumpetin sepatu-sepatu itu. Walaupun aneh juga sih, kok cuma sepatu gw yang ngga diumpetin.

Gak berapa lama, datanglah mereka berdua, dan kita interogasilah mereka.
Hasilnya? Mereka sama sekali ngga tau, tuh.
Boro-boro ngumpetin, mereka juga baru datang lagi sekarang, setelah mereka dari musholla.

Kesimpulan terakhir: sepatu-sepatu kita... hilang.
Kecuali… sepatu gw.
Sepatu yang emang udah rada ngga jelas bentuknya, karena di bagian bawahnya, baik sebelah depan maupun belakang, udah pada bolong semua.

Kehilangan ini dikonfirmasi sama yang punya rumah, karena di daerah situ akhir-akhir ini memang lumayan sering kejadian ada pencurian sepatu / sandal.

Gw inget waktu itu perasaan gw campur aduk.

Di satu pihak, gw bisa bersyukur karena cuma gw yang bisa pulang pake sepatu, soalnya temen-temen gw pada pake sandal pinjeman semua buat pulang…

Di lain pihak: malu banget sama temen-temen.
Maling sialaaaaaaaaaannnn… Ngehina banget sih!!…
Mentang-mentang sepatu gw udah pada bolong-bolong, dimalingpun ngga laku, gitu???

Wakakakaka…

A Tribute to an Oasis

2008-12-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

Ada miscall lagi darimu.
Entah untuk kali ke berapa.
Pun kau coba untuk raihku lewat pesan-pesan singkatmu.
Sesuatu yang kutakut hanya akan jadi sia-sia belaka.

Mohon mengertilah...
Tidak ada lagi yang bisa aku tawarkan padamu

Mencoba merajut kembali semuanya,
Sama layaknya mengharap air di padang fatamorgana

Aku yang salah...
Berani kurang ajar mendobrak masuk dalam kehidupanmu,
Lantas memporak-porandakannya tak bersisa
Mohon ampunkanlah...

Kau tuntut aku dengan segala tanya:
"Tapi kenapa? Apa yang salah? Jadi bebankah?"

Duh, bukan beban...
Tidak pernah jadi beban...

Bagaimana bisa?

Kaulah sosok pertama yang menyadarkanku
Arti jadi seorang wanita
Merasa cantik dan berharga

Kaulah juga yang telah jadi oasis,
Beri aku segala tulus cinta, kasih sayang dan kekuatan
Tempat diri melepaskan segala lelah dan dahaga

Aihh.. andai dunia bisa sedemikian sederhana,
Mungkin nasib akan jadi lain cerita.

Tidak ada yang salah...
Hanya saja...
Saat hidup tak melangkah setujuan,
Akan kemanakah angin membawa jiwa?

Sudah waktunya aku teruskan perjalanan ini,
Pun begitu adanya dengan kau

Jalanku bukan jalanmu
Jalanmu bukan pula jalanku
Ini terbaik untuk semuanya

Dan jika bibir ini masih berhak bicara,
Dari kejauhan akan kau dengar lafaz doa di sana
Semoga Yang Maha mengaruniai segala kebaikan,
kebahagiaan, keselamatan dan keindahan
Karena itulah adanya dirimu

Aku yakin kau akan baik-baik saja,
Karena begitulah yang aku pinta dari-Nya

Namun jika kau merasa
Perih tak terkira
Dan mengutukku bisa meringankan segala,
Maka, biarlah...

Surat Kepada Kawan (Arsip Jadul 2003)

2008-12-20T22:50:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum wr.wb

Dear P….
Gak ada yang lebih ngerti dan tahu apa yang elo dan keluarga lo alamin selain gua (sombong amat, ya…ha-ha-ha…!)
Soalnya gua sama keluarga gua udah pernah ngalamin yang elo + keluarga lo alamin. Lebih parah, malah.

Bayangin… dulu bokap gua gak kerja… cuma jadi preman di pasar Mencos, Setiabudi. Nyokap gua gak kerja sama sekali. Kita makan dari hasil bokap nge-sit. Tau nge-sit? Malakin orang yang menang judi! Parah, kan?

Untungnya bokap bisa mijat & nulis naskah sedikit. Jadi, agak-agak bisa nafas, lah…
Rumah kita dari jaman Nabi Daud sampai sekarang masih sama: kontrakan.
Lo masih mending…lo punya rumah sendiri, bokap lo walaupun sempat nganggur beberapa lama, tapi kan cuma sementara. Doi udah kerja lagi kan? Nyokap lo juga kerja.
Kalo keluarga gua…?

Dulu tuh… kita sampai sempet makan yang namanya biji karet!
Tau biji karet kan? Yang sama anak-anak sering buat aduan itu, lho…
Nah… kalo abis temen-temennya ngadu biji karet, ‘kan ada dalemannya tuhh… terus abang gua biasanya mungutin, terus dimasak deh sama nyokap gua.
Gak keracunan juga udah syukur…
Makan nasi sama garam atau terasi doang sih udah biasa…

Kalo lagi ada acara di Gelanggang Mahasiswa (sekarang Pasar Festival), abang gua suka ke sana, terus ngambilin makanan-makanan sisa yang belum kemakan dari boks-boks konsumsi.
Doi juga ngojekin payung, jualan es mambo, sampe ngiter buat minta amal jariah dari mesjid…
Kalo mau main sengsara-sengsara-an… kita pasti menang, dehhh…!!!

Masalah utang? Keluarga gua jagonya !! (ha-ha-ha… :) )
Hhhh… bokap+ nyokap gua sering banget minta / ngutang sama saudara atau kenalannya.
Malu sih… tapi mau gimana lagi…

Terus, lo pasti heran… koq bisa ya, kita survive?

Jangankan elo… gua juga gak ngerti !!! ha-ha-ha…!! :)

Tapi mungkin… karena kita yakin sama Dia.
Dia Yang Maha Keren itu, lho…!
Karena kalo dipikir-pikir secara logika… gak mungkinlah kita bisa survive dengan keadaan begitu.
Tapi nyatanya… bisa, kan??
Itulah hebatnya Dia.

Elo mungkin sekarang ngeliat keadaan gua sama keluarga gua agak membaik.
Tapi untuk sampai pada keadaan sekarang… jalannya ituuuuuuu…
Berliku-liku, berlubang-lubang… banyak jurangnya…

Lo tau sendiri waktu kita kuliah dulu, gua mesti jualan piscok. Dan itu capek banget, lho…
Kadang-kadang gua pengen banget brenti jualan. Tapi gak bisa. Waktu itu bokap gua nganggur.
Kalo gua besoknya mau bisa makan + ngasih sedikit buat nyokap gua, gua harus terus.
Sampe akhirnya gua sakit TBC.
Tapi lagi-lagi si Maha Keren itu nolongin. Gua dapet beasiswa ICAC.

Gua cerita begini bukannya bangga-bangga banget hidup sengsara.
Gua cuma pengin ngasih gambaran bahwa meskipun kelihatannya hidup kita susah banget… masih banyak yang lebih susah dari kita.

Dan kalo lo renungin… banyak banget yang ternyata harus kita syukurin.
Coba deh lo pikirin dengan seksama… tentang hidup lo… tentang keluarga lo… pasti lo bakalan temuin bahwa elo tuh masih beruntung…
Buktinya, lo punya temen yang cakep banget kaya gua… ha-ha-ha.. :P

Dan bahwa Do-i tuh… sayang banget sama lo…
Sayaaaaaaanggg… banget!
Asli!!

Pesimis ?! Gak lah, ya…!!!

Demi Tuhan, P… lo tuh masih muda… agak cakep (hi-hi-hi…)… pinter, udah pasti.
Dan yang paling penting: lo tuh orang yang baik.
And guess what ?! Dia sayang banget sama orang baik.
Saking sayangnya, Dia juga pengen nge-tes… seberapa kuat sih kita ngadepin hidup?
Bukan karena Dia benci atau gak peduli sama kita. Justru sebaliknya…

Guru gua pernah bilang: yang bisa mengkilapkan emas itu api.
Maksudnya, cuma jalan susah, sakit ‘en sengsara yang buat kita jadi lebih kuat.
Ketika kita berhasil ngelewatin itu semua, kita akan jadi lebih kuat, dan lebih berharga jadi manusia.

Jadi… tabah aja, ya…?

Tawakal… percaya penuh sama Dia.
Bahwa Dia gak bakalan ninggalin kita. Justru kita yang sering ninggalin Dia.

Masalah mimpi dan ramalan…
Gua cuma bisa bilang bahwa yang bisa nentuin nasib kita itu adalah kita sendiri.
Tentu aja Dia juga berperan besar. Tapi titik centernya adalah kita sendiri.
Makanya, Dia gak bakalan merubah nasib suatu kaum, kalo kaum itu gak berusaha ngerubah dirinya sendiri.

Percaya deh sama diri lo sendiri. Percaya deh sama Dia.
Everything will be alright…! Trust me! I know…!

Sekarang ini… optimalkan yang ada pada diri lo…
Jangan pernah berhenti untuk ngembangin diri.

Bahasa Inggris…? Job interview…? … Keccciiiill…
Ayo, lah kita latihan…Kapan en dimana… terserah lo!
Mulai minggu depan juga gua mau…

Semua pasti ada jalan keluarnya, P.. Percaya deh! Asal kita mau berusaha dan percaya penuh sama Dia.
Ujian yang elo alamin sekarang, siapa tau adalah awal dari keberhasilan yang cemerlang di masa yang akan datang… Ya, kan.. ?!

Udah dulu, ya… Kalo diterusin bisa jadi novel, nih!

Hang on there, girl!
You can do it!
I know you can.

Si cantik yang manisnya gak abis-abis,
Ratu Gumelar
--------------------------------------

Catatan kecil:

Saat ini, kawanku P sudah menikah dan mempuyai 2 anak yang lucu-lucu.
Dia diterima bekerja di BI dengan gaji jauh di atas rata-rata kami, teman seangkatannya.
Sebuah rumah di perumahan kawasan Depok yang asri jadi tempat tinggal mereka sekeluarga.

Code Name: Arale si Kepala Besar

2008-12-19T02:30:00.000-08:00

Sebut saja dia Arale. Julukan yang kami (adikku Dayu, Aa dan Mamah) anugerahkan padanya.

Arale adalah tokoh kartun Jepang yang mempunyai Ayah berkepala besar. Saking besarnya sehingga dikatakan bahwa kalau difoto, maka ia tidak akan muat karena ukuran kepalanya itu.
Agak ngga nyambung sih... tapi for the sake of our convenience, ya.. jadilah sebutannya: Arale.

Semuanya bermula dari gembar-gembor adikku tersayang tentang seorang pemuda yang juga masuk kantornya (eh, mantan kantor ding, karena dua-duanya udah ngga di situ lagi).

Orangnya luar biasa pintar, pernah tinggal di perpustakaan kampusnya di kota Gudeg dan melalap habis semua buku di sana. Jenius dalam dunia maya, sebuah dunia yang justru aku hampir buta. Suka komik, hal yang memang kami sekeluarga juga suka. Mantan gimbal yang juga drummer grup band aliran keras. Lumayan ganteng juga, katanya. Tapi ya, itu... katanya kepalanya besar...

Berita dan cerita tentangnya semakin hari semakin membuat penasaran. Kisah-kisah tentang special gift yang dimilikinya, juga tentang ukuran kepalanya yang sesungguhnya.

Sampai suatu saat, datanglah kesempatan untuk bertemu langsung dengannya. Aku dan Mbak Frances, atasanku ketika itu, datang bertandang ke kantor adikku. Mbak Frances ingin mengenal lebih jauh Arale karena hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan anaknya sendiri. Pertama melihatnya, Mbak Frances berbisik di telingaku "Ah... kepalanya ngga besar-besar banget kok, Rat... proporsional, kok.." Aku cuma nyengir mendengarnya.

Memperhatikan pembicaraan antara Mbak Frances dengannya, aku membayangkan betapa hidup - bisa jadi sulit untuknya. Menjadi berbeda, bisa membuat orang merasa menjadi 'alien', terasing di keterasingan, dan mempertanyakan kenapa.

Namun di lain sisi, betapa besar karunia yang dianugerahkan Tuhan untuknya. Apa yang dimilikinya, dan apa yang bisa dia lakukan adalah tanggung jawab yang luar biasa besar. Meski ini sama sekali tidak pernah dimintanya.

Aku hanya tahu dan percaya bahwa pasti ada alasan bagus kenapa Yang Maha menitipkan itu semua padanya. DIA pasti menganggap pemuda ini sebagai seseorang yang 'special', karena begitu pulalah aku dan keluargaku memandangnya. Berpotensi sedemikian besar untuk berbuat banyak pada sesama. Meskipun dia bebas memilih, tentu saja.
Kami merasa bangga padanya, juga merasa bahwa dia adalah bagian dari kami juga.

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, adikku dan aku kembali bertemu dengannya. Kami sengaja ke Jogja dengan dalih minta tolong padanya menginstal-kan software pada laptop Dayu yang baru dibeli. Dia kelihatan lebih kurus, tapi kami ngga terlalu ngeh bahwa saat itu dia sedang akan sakit.

Saat itu dialah yang tak segan berepot-repot ria mencarikan dan membooking penginapan, pun berniat menemani kami selama di sana. Malam pertama di kota itu, yang kebetulan jatuh pada malam minggu, ada keramaian di daerah Malioboro. Selain berkumpulnya beberapa komunitas seperti komunitas sepeda onthel, ada juga dua panggung untuk dua kelompok aliran musik yang berbeda. Tiba-tiba, adikku terkikik-kikik geli. Rupanya dia melihat bahwa celana panjang jeans si Arale tidak terseleting.

Si Arale berkomentar "oh... ini sengaja kok. Biar aja orang yang ngeliat nganggap aku gimana... Aku udah pake daleman short kok...".
Aku tersenyum mendengarnya dan menjawab dengan santai "kalo kamu memang tahu dan sadar, ya ngga papa... Tapi kalau kamu memang ngga tahu, maka kami yang kasih tahu".

Keesokan harinya, kami baru tahu bahwa dia ternyata benar-benar sakit. Saat menjemput kami menuju kost-annya, wajahnya pucat sekali dan badannya pun kelihatan lemas. Rupanya sudah waktunya tubuhnya meminta hak untuk didengar.
Saat itu, tidak tega rasanya melihatnya sakit dan terbaring begitu rupa.

Memandangnya dalam tidur, membuat aku melihat sosoknya yang lain. Beda dari sosok orang yang mumpuni malang melintang merajai dunia maya. Beda juga dari sosok gahar yang ditampilkannya melalui tulisan-tulisan berbau sarkas ketika mengulik berbagai topik. Bahkan mungkin beda pula dari sosok kesehariannya di dunia nyata.

Aku tidak berusaha sok tahu mengenainya. Tapi saat itu aku melihat sosoknya sebagai... orang biasa. Seseorang yang jauh dari rumah, yang saat itu tidak berdaya, seperti layaknya orang kebanyakan yang sedang sakit. Mamahku bilang, "orang sakit tidak seharusnya sendirian, karena orang tsb sedang lemah-lemahnya. Dia harus dirawat dan disayangi, dijaga dan dimanja". Karena itulah, saat itu kami juga tidak membiarkannya sendirian.

Selang beberapa waktu lamanya, rupanya ada sesuatu yang membuatnya sedemikian gusar. Kupikir ini adalah akumulasi dari banyak hal. Kekecewaan, merasa disepelekan, merasa dimanfaatkan, disalahkan dan sebagainya - hingga mempertanyakan apakah ada yang salah pada dirinya.

Aih, Arale... kita tidak bisa memuaskan semua orang... pun tidak bisa mengontrol apa reaksi maupun pandangan orang terhadap diri kita. Yang mungkin bisa dijadikan pilihan untuk dilakukan adalah bertindak sesuai hati nurani, karena biasanya dia adalah refleksi dan cerminan dari Yang Maha Tinggi. Perkara bahwa cara yang kita ketengahkan adalah berbeda, aku rasa itu wajar saja. Bukankah justru perbedaan yang membuat hidup ini jadi berwarna?

Apapun 'wajah' yang kau hadapkan kepada dunia, peran apapun yang kau mainkan di sana, kau adalah kau. Utuh. Tidak ada yang salah.
Bahkan meskipun jika kau kehilangan semua 'wajah' atau kehilangan semua 'peran'... Kau tetap kau. Utuh. Tidak ada yang salah, tidak ada yang kurang.
Tetap ada banyak cinta, kasih sayang dan peduli di sana.

Karena itu, seperti layaknya Miyamoto Musashi yang mengabdikan diri di jalan pedang... malang melintanglah dengan bebas seperti yang kau suka, karena aku yakin kau sertakannya dengan segala bijak dan tanggung jawab.

Seperti kuda mustang jantan, berlarilah sekencang-kencangnya menikmati alam bebas, sampai kau temukan keindahan pelangi.

Ingat saja: begitu besar dukungan dari semuanya.

Hari-Hari yang Aneh...

2008-12-17T00:45:00.001-08:00

Kalo dinget-inget... sebenernya banyak banget 'hari-hari yang aneh' di hidup gw ini...

Pernah dulu waktu kantor masih di Gedung Surya (sekarang gedungnya ganti nama, tapi gw ngga inget), gw sama Gusti makan siang di warung Padang yang emang tempatnya sempit. Karna lagi lumayan penuh, jadinya kita kebagian meja yang udah ada orangnya, seorang bapak-bapak.
Gw duduk tepat di depan bapak itu. Waktu itu gw pesen ayam bakar - secara dulu masih murah... nasi + ayam + sayur masih 5 ribuan...

Eniwei, entah karna bakarnya kurang lama ato gimana, yang jelas itu daging susah banget dipotong pake sendok + garpu.
Daaannn... melayanglah si ayam... plokkk!!! ... pas banget mendaratnya di piringnya si bapak yang di depan gw itu.

Kita bertiga (si bapak + gw + Gusti) sempet pada diam sejenak ...
Tapi karna dorongan perut yang emang lapar dan rasa malu yang cuma seujung jari, maka gw cuma bilang "duh, maaf ya pak!" sambil dengan santainya gw ambil lagi tu ayam dari piring si Bapak dan nerusin makan...

Di warung yang sama juga, waktu makan siang sama Gusti dan yang lain, seperti biasa si warung penuh dan kita harus share tempat duduk sama seorang mas-mas. Dan di warung Padang manapun , adalah lumrah kalo kita disediain kobokan cuci tangan, yang biasanya buat masing-masing sendiri.

Waktu itu kita baru dateng dan baru mau makan.

Nah, entah karna gw ngga konsen ato waktu itu lagi ngobrol, gw cucilah tangan gw yang lentik itu di sebuah kobokan cuci tangan. Gw asyik aja waktu itu, sampe gw ngerasa ada yang aneh...

Kok si mas-mas itu berhenti makan dan ngeliatin gw terus...

Gw udah ge-er aja, sampe gw nyadar bahwa yang gw pake ternyata adalah kobokannya dia...

Morale of the stories: Kalo mau makan siang, bawa bangku + meja sendiri
------------------

Pernah juga waktu meeting di tempat klien, gw ngga sengaja numpahin air satu pitcher di meja meeting... kebayang kan merah-putih-birunya muka gw waktu itu... udah kaya bendera Belanda aja... untung kliennya baik... dia bilang "oh, ini udah sering kejadian di sini... jangan-jangan malah ruangan ini ada hantunya...".

Iya... gw inilah hantunya...

Pernah jg gw numpahin air satu gelas waktu jadi moderator group diskusi...

Apa karena gw bintangnya Aquarius ya, jadi ada cerita melulu yang berhubungan dengan air...
------------------

Yang berhubungan dengan sepatu juga banyak...Gw jarang sih pake sepatu tinggi. Paling kalo ada event - event yang khusus... presentasi atau meeting resmi, misalnya. Hobi gw ya.. paling pake sepatu cewek agak ke-sendal-sendalan yang model teplek. Sendal tinggi ada sih, tapi lumayan jarang dipake.

Dari mulai kasus yang paling baru, hari Senin lalu dimana sendal gw yang sebelah kiri memilih waktu yang tepat untuk copot: pas gw lagi ke Plaza Indonesia beli buku buat kado. Modelnya jepit tapi tinggi, dan jepitan tengahnya itulah yang copot... tapi karena udah biasa... ya.. santai aja. Ngga sampe nyeker sih baliknya... cuma jadi agak nyeret aja jalannya.

Kasus yang agak lawas lumayan parah... dan ini terjadi dua kali. Satu di bandara Kuala Lumpur yang luasnya amit-amit itu, satu lagi di hotel di Singapur.

Waktu itu ada project bareng Mbak Cilla (mentor gw utk kualitatif research) di cabang kantor Malaysia. Saat itu gw pake sepatu-sendal favorit gw. Padahal di pesawat sih ngga kenapa-napa... eh ngga tau gimana pas di elevator kok, ya... bagian bawah si sendal yang sebelah kiri tiba-tiba menganga lebar...

Nah di bandara ini, saking luasnya... untuk nge-claim bagasi aja musti naik kereta listrik dulu. Udah gitu, tempat untuk claim bagasinya juga gede banget. Dan karena kita ngga bisa-bisa juga nemuin bagasi punya kita, dan gw ngga nemuin sesuatu untuk bisa repair itu sendal, maka mondar-mandirlah gw bolak-balik di bandara internasional dengan sepatu-sendal menganga lebar...

Nah, yang di Singapur hampir sama... tapi ini kasusnya masih mending karna waktu itu malem dan hotelnya jg lobinya kecil... waktu itu sepatu-sendal gw yang sebelah kiri menganga juga... tapi menganganya lebih parah... saking parahnya sampe-sampe gw ngga bisa melangkah ke depan... Jadilah gw jalan mundur ala moon-walkingnya si Michael Jackson dari kamar sampe ke taksi menuju bandara...

Morale of the stories: Kalo pergi-pergi cukup pake alas kaki sebelah kanan aja...

------------------

Ada lagi... di suatu group diskusi, seperti biasa gw lagi jadi moderator...
Nah, sebelum ke topik aslinya, biasanya kan moderator menerangkan dulu diskusi ini maksudnya apa, terus peraturannya gimana, plus memperkenalkan diri juga...

Di sinilah biasanya moderator jadi pusat perhatian semua orang.

Dan lagi asyik-asyiknya ngomong sambil agak-agak ja'im karena diliatin semua orang, tiba tiba, ngga tau kenapa juntrungannya, lensa kiri kaca mata gw memilih untuk melepaskan diri dari kaca mata gw dan jatuh ke atas meja...

Maka jadilah gw ngomong dengan memakai kacamata yang bolong sebelah kirinya...

Waktu kejadian si lensa jatuh, semua orang amazed dan kaget (termasuk gw) sehingga kita sempet diam berjamaah. Baru setelah itu gw cuma bisa bilang "eh...? lho? kok bisa begini ya...? Sebentar saya keluar benerin kacamata ini dulu..."

Dan geerrrr lah semua rekan-rekan gw yang tau waktu itu...
------------------

Terus gimana kira-kira perasaan lu kalo pada sebuah hari minggu yang rame banget, di depan gedung sate Bandung, dimana waktu itu lagi ada pasar kaget, jalanan macet, banyak pedagang... pokoknya orang-orang pada penuh, lah... dan lu kepeleset jatuh tengkurap di atas aspal di tengah jalan, waktu turun dari mobil mau beli jajan...

Kebayang kan perasaan gw gimana? huhuhuhu...

Hari-hari yang aneh...

Siapa bilang...

2008-12-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

Siapa bilang orang Sunda ngga bisa bilang 'F'??

PITNAHHH!!!!!

Memiliki Kehilangan

2008-12-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

Bulan puasa tahun ini kayaknya merupakan 'waktu yang paling berkesan' selama aku di dunia.

Tadinya aku malah berpikir bahwa ini mungkin adalah saat-saat paling sulit di dalam hidup dan kehidupanku.

Bagaimana tidak, tiga 'tiang utama' yang selama ini aku jadikan 'penopang': keluarga, pekerjaan dan cinta, semuanya runtuh pada saat yang bersamaan.
Tidak jadi sintingpun sudah untung, pikirku ketika itu.

Sempet rada-rada linglung sih, lumayan selama beberapa hari bangun-bangun mataku yang indah ini udah kaya ikan mas koki...
Pun asal ingat, pasti hati langsung dag-dig-dug karena kecemasan plus ketakutan yang amat sangat. Apalagi kalo udah datang penyakit 'this should not be happening', 'mengapa ini terjadi padaku' ato 'teganya dia melakukan ini...' fiuuhhh... jantung rasanya mau copot dan dunia rasanya mau kiamat...

Saking 'dahsyatnya', sampe-sampe aku harus berusaha menyepi, menenangkan diri.
Pada saat itu, sangat sulit untuk bisa 'melihat indahnya langit biru' ketika kitanya sendiri sedang merintih di bawah reruntuhan.

Tapi setelah dipikir-pikir, berabe juga kalo terus-terusan tiduran sambil merintih di bawah reruntuhan... bisa-bisa saru sama kuntilanak, kan?

Makanya aku memutuskan untuk merangkak dan mencari jalan keluar. Lumayan kesandung-sandung, kadungsang-dungsang, sih... tapi keep going aja lah...

Untungnya, deep down inside aku selalu yakin Dia pasti ada... Habis, memang selalu begitu sih... (walaupun seringnya aku suka ngga ngeh…)
Dan karena lumayan susah koneknya, maka berkelana-lah diriku... ho-ho-ho...

Penginnya sih datang ke tempat-tempat tenang nan eksotis supaya bisa lebih khusyu merenungnya... ke dataran tinggi Kashmir atau Tibet, misalnya... ato bisa juga di keheningan Mount Everest. Yah.. setidaknya puncak Jayawijaya, lah... siapa tahu bisa menggoncang khayangan dan mendatangkan bidadara Richard Gere ato pemeran suami di iklan Pond's Age Miracle versi Menara Eiffel... khu khu khu... :P

Tapi apa dilacur, saudara-saudara... karena satu dan lain hal... penyepianku-pun akhirnya terjadi di suatu tempat di Sukabumi. Tepatnya di Selabintana dan PH alias Pondok Halimun (I know... sedikit garing, tapi lumayan lah, daripada ngga sama sekali).

Dari rumah kakakku yang punya usaha piscok Cakra (hayo, hayo... datang dan beli ke sana), aku pergi diantar sama Hasan, salah satu karyawan setianya Aa. Di tas yang aku bawa, terselip salah satu terjemahan Al Quran, juga print-an mengenai ‘Yang Maha’ yang aku copy dari website http://www.alislam.org/ . Biasanya sih lumayan ampuh buat menenangkan kegoncangan hati (walaupun dalam kesehariannya, aku jarang sekali buka the Holy book... nakal, ya?).

Tempat pertama: lapangan Selabintana.

Ditemani selembar tikar, akupun mulai tenggelam dalam bacaan...
Lalu, dipicu keheningan yang menghanyutkan, pelan-pelan, akupun mulai bisa ‘sadar’ akan sekelilingku...

Hmmm... banyak pohon pinus, padang rumput menghampar... Ada juga kicau burung. Di kejauhan kelihatan hamparan kebun teh.. damai.

Tapi ada satu yang kurang: gemericik air.

Maka berangkatlah aku ke tempat kedua: Pondok Halimun, thanks to jasa Pak Ojeg.

Setelah hiking di jalan berbatu beberapa saat lamanya, sampai juga aku ke sungai di sana...
Duh.. airnya jernih... dan dingiiinnn...
Memandang berkeliling... kelihatan pepohonan dengan dedaunan yang tertiup angin... gemericik jernih air melewati bebatuan... suara jangkrik dan kicau burung di kejauhan...
hmmm... damai.

Tapi lama-lama serem juga, sih... abis tempatnya lumayan gelap... sepi pula.
Kalau aku kesurupan kan bisa berabe...

Akhirnya beranjaklah aku dari sana.

Hasil dari perenungan itu adalah... aku sadar bahwa semua yang terjadi adalah actually a bless in disguise. Karena bukankah aku yang minta untuk selalu diberikan petunjuk jalan yang benar oleh-Nya?
Tok-tok-tok!... haloooooo... justru ini adalah jawabannya, bukan?

I’ve been holding on to the wrong pillars. Aku berpegang pada pegangan yang salah selama ini. Coz they’re immortal. Fana. Ngga akan abadi, dan rapuh pula...
Satu-satunya yang bisa jadi pegangan sejati ya... hanya Dia.

Tapi kok ya... walaupun sudah punya pemikiran seperti ini, kok ya aku masih merasa sakit waktu itu. Tanpa dikomando, asal ingat apa yang terjadi, mengalirlah butiran air dari kedua mataku.
Bukankah seharusnya, kalau sudah punya pemikiran seperti ini, kalau sudah melalui perenungan yang dalam, maka tidak ada lagi rasa sakit, atau kecewa, atau sebangsanya? Selayaknya Ksatria Baja Hitam atau pendekar-pendekar Goggle V yang bisa ‘BERUBAH!’ dalam sekejab... menjadi seperti orang-orang salih yang alim itu..
Kok hatiku belum bisa sepenuhnya damai, ya..? (dan jujur aja, masih bergajulan pula)

What’s wrong with me???

Untungnya, di perjalanan pulang balik ke Jakarta, di KRL, aku membaca lebih jauh mengenai Dia.
Di situ aku found out bahwa ternyata ngga apa-apa untuk merasa terluka... ngga papa untuk merasa lemah.. Karena aku adalah manusia.

Fhhhhhh.... leganya aku waktu itu...

Semuanya aku tuangkan di SMS lebaran yang aku kirim untuk teman-teman. Isinya kira-kira begini:
“In this journey towards God, it is alright to feel hurt and vulnerable. ‘Coz that what makes us ‘human’. Just always remember, that by the end of this road, lies a reward worth all the pain and sufferings: God himself’.

Jadi, waktu itu bayanganku adalah... duh.. jalannya bakal lama dan menyakitkan, nih... tapi ya jalanin aja, lah... abis mau gimana...

Namun Dia itu memang ok banget ya...
Di saat aku kira aku harus menjalani hidup ini dengan membawa segala kesakitan, penderitaan dan ketakutan, Dia justru memberi petunjuk bahwa ngga selamanya harus seperti itu.
Bahwa menuju-Nya memang akan jadi sebuah journey... dan kitapun besar sekali kemungkinannya untuk salah dan dosa (namanya juga manusia)... tapi guys, sebenernya ngga harus dengan sakit dan derita kok... (udah kayak judul lagu dangdut aja, ya...)

Satu hari, aku lagi nonton acaranya Oprah dan tertarik dengan pembahasan mengenai sebuah buku karya seorang pengarang: Eckhart Tolle. Judulnya adalah ‘A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purposes’. Dari acara itu aku juga tahu bahwa sang pengarang masih punya satu buku lagi: ‘The Power of Now’.

Dan amazingly, saudara-saudaraku yang tercinta... reading those books benar-benar bisa bantu.

Di situ kita disadarkan bahwa ‘apapun yang kita pikir kita miliki’, atau apapun yang kita lakukan, atau ‘bagaimanapun rupa luar kita’, itu semua bukanlah jati diri kita sebenarnya.
Jadi seandainya semuanya hilangpun, tidak akan membuat jati diri kita menjadi ‘lebih buruk’ atau 'kurang utuh'.

Merasa ‘lebih’ dari orang lain sama salahnya dengan merasa ‘kurang’.

Bahwasanya selama ini tanpa sadar kita sudah dikendalikan oleh ‘ego’ – sesuatu yang sebenarnya bukan jati diri kita, tapi seringkali justru kita menganggapnya demikian. ‘Thoughts’ atau pemikiran-pemikiran kita lah yang paling bertanggungjawab atas kesalahpahaman ini.

Di buku ini juga dijelaskan cara untuk ‘sadar’ dan ‘ngeh’ akan sejatinya diri kita sebenarnya.

Jadi kita ngga usah khawatir kalau punya kepala yang panjul, besar, pitakan dan ada user-userannya tiga biji. Kita juga ngga perlu merasa rendah diri meskipun punya perut ‘ndut (gua banget), jerawat sebesar permen Fox, ato kalo punya pantat gosong dan burik sekalipun... karena semua itu bukanlah sejatinya diri kita sebenarnya.

Pun jika punya rupa cantik kaya Winona Ryder atau wajah tampan selayak Hugh Jackman, kekayaan kaya dinasti Bakrie, ngga usah merasa ‘lebih’ juga... karena semua itupun bukan sejatinya kita...

Bahwa seringkali kita terjebak pada yang sudah terjadi pada masa lalu – dan terlalu terobsesi pada masa yang akan datang, sehingga seringnya ngga nyadar bahwa yang bener-bener ‘real’ dan ‘worth’ adalah justru saat ini.

'The past is passed, and tomorrow is not yet to come. Accepting what is... and celebrating the present'...

Sekarang, setelah lumayan bisa agak terbebas dari rasa-rasa yang ngga jelas, aku masih punya concern.
Karena orang-orang terkasih masih terluka. Berat menyaksikannya.

Makanya terbersit dalam benakku untuk nerjemahin buku ini, biar lebih banyak orang dapetin manfaatnya. Latihan buat aku juga, sih...
Secara bukunya masih baru, jadi mungkin baru ada keluaran Bahasa Inggrisnya di pasaran. Kesananya sih mungkin bakal diterjemahin ... tapi ngga tau berapa lama lagi.. ato berapa pula orang mesti bayar.

Nah, mungkin terjemahan ini bisa sedikit bantu. Lumayan kan gratisan.
Masih baru niat sih... Aku jg masih ragu: apa bisa...

Tapi kalau memang jadi, kayaknya aku mesti buat satu blog lagi khusus buat terjemahan buku ini.
Terjemahannya pun mungkin pake bahasa aku sendiri, juga komen-komen tambahan dari pemahaman dan pengalaman yang relevan.
Bakalan jauh dari bagus... secara kemampuan aku terbatas gini... Jadi harap maklum kalo nantinya banyak kesalahan ato tidak berkenan.

Duh, bisa ngga ya...

Doain ya, guys....

Kita Masih Punya, Kita Masih Bisa

2008-12-02T04:33:00.001-08:00

Lantas kenapa kalau ternyata kita bukan sang elang,
hanya seekor camar...
Kita masih bisa terbangkan sayap keliling dunia
dan jelajahi samudra-langit biru
membentang luas

Lantas kenapa kalau ternyata kita bukan sang matahari,
hanya sebuah mercu suar...
Kita masih bisa berbagi terang
dan berikan arah
bagi kapal-kapal terjebak badai

Lantas kenapa kalau ternyata kita bukan sang harimau,
hanya seekor kijang...
Kita masih bisa berlari menembus hutan
dan nikmati hijaunya dedaunan

Lantas kenapa kalau ternyata kita bukan batu karang,
hanya sebuah batu kali...
Kita masih bisa jadi pondasi
bagi bangunan bangunan raksasa pencakar langit

Lantas kenapa kalau kita hanya seorang manusia,
Kita masih punya Yang Maha,
Sang pemilik segala
yang akan selalu ada

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Sometimes in 1998/1999
- To: my beloved brother: don't give up on hope!

Acornia: “Dare to Live”

2008-12-01T02:16:00.000-08:00

Scene 01

Music Opening

Narration :

The Time (V.O)
Greeting, all fellow!
It’s been a while…
I hope the light of the sun and the light of the moon always keep you in company…

The Time (V.O)
My name is Time.
I’ve been a witness and faithful friend of stories of human - here on earth…
I’ve seen kings and kingdoms rise and fall throughout centuries…

The Time (V.O)
And today, I shall reveal a story about a girl named Acornia
A young Princess of the Kingdom, Acornia lives happily…

Beautiful Music

The Time (V.O)
As a young Princess, Acornia lives a happy life…
She is loved by the King and the Queen… also by the people…
She is a vibrant girl, a bit childish… and a bit spoiled…
But she loves her parents and her people more than anything…

Stage : - Acornia plays a doll
- Acornia plays ‘congklak’ / rope
- Acornia dances happily
- Acornia gives charity to a beggar
- Acornia tries to open something (could be a box or something else), but couldn’t… and call up her father to help her…
- The King then sits in a chair, helps her open the thing, and starts talking to her…

The King
My Dear child, Acornia…
Being a King or a Queen is not about a fancy title at all..
But it is about huge responsibility we have to the people…
As their lives depend on us…
We shall not make them disappointed or sad or weary…

Acornia
(Smile happily, childish, spoiled…)
I understand, father….

The King
Another thing…
And this is very important…
This Kingdom relies on the Stone of Clients
It is with its power that our source of water running down for the drink of all creatures in this Kingdom…
It is also with its power that the soil become fertile and grow crops to feed the people…
We must protect it… Don’t let anything take it away…
Do you understand me?

Acornia
Yes, father…

The King
(Smile and put his hand on Acornia’s head)
Good. That’s my child…

Stage : Both Acornia and the King step out the stage

Scene 02

The Time (V.O)
However, the peace in the Kingdom does not last long…
A monster comes and ruin the entire Kingdom,,,,

Music: for horror and fight (Gamelan Bali)

Stage :

The King fights a monster bravely; however he finally lost and killed by the monster (the Monster stab the King on his chest).. The King then collapsed on the floor…
And then the Monster seems to take something out of the King

Monster
HA HA HA HA HA….
I have now the ‘Stone of Clients’…
HA HA HA HA HA….

Stage :

The King is still lying on the floor; died…
From out of the stage, Acornia runs approaching the King…

Acornia
Father..! Father…!
Wake up…
(starts to cry with her head up…)
NOOOOOOOOOOOO…!!!

Scene 03

Music: still for horror and fight

Stage: Acornia sits on a chair (a throne) with her hand on her head; listens carefully to the other two people – who are the commander in the Kingdom.

Commander I
Report, My Lady… the creature kidnapped and killed some of our best warriors! Our troops are scattered…!

Stage: Commander II enters the stage

Acornia
(asking Commander II)
How is my mother – the Queen?

Commander II
(shaking his head sadly…)
We did our best to keep her alive My Lady…
But…We are very sorry…

Acornia
(shaking her head and close her face with her palms; crying…)
No…
This can’t be happening…

(A pause)

Stage: Commander I and Commander II look at each other in agony…
And then Commander I finally speaks…

Commander I
My Lady…
We understand how you feel right now…
Losing the people you love…
But as you know…
The Monster also stole the Stone of Clients…
Our source of life…!
Wee need to claim it back, My Lady…
Before our people suffer…

Commander II
He’s right, My Lady…
Now that the King and Queen had passed away,
It is you whom we – the people are turning to…

Acornia
What do you mean…?

Commander II
You need to lead us, My Lady…

Acornia
But how this is possible..?
I’m just a young girl…l

Commander I
But you are… the Princess of this Kingdom…
The daughter of your father and the daughter of your mother
They are the King and The Queen
And they were great warriors…

Acornia
But how can I???

Commander I
My lady…

Acornia
Enough!
Leave me alone now…!

Stage: The commanders look at each other and then give a bow to Acornia before they leave the stage…

Scene 04

Stage: Acornia look up the sky and whisper sadly…

Acornia
Father….
What should I do…?

Stage: Comes ‘The Angel’…

The Angel
Isn’t obvious, Acornia…?
You should take the responsibility…

Stage: Comes ‘The Devil’…

The Devil
But you’re still a young girl…
It is not fair for them to throw you such a huge responsibility…
Your uncle from other Kingdom has expressed His willingness to accept you in His Kingdom…
Don’t you want to have a happy simple life like any other girls…?

Music: happy and cheerful
Stage: Acornia plays a rope happily… and read a letter with heart shape… smiling happily…

The Devil
Not to mention that there are people who doubt you…

(only voices of some people…)

Music: music which is ‘tensed’

VO 1
Are you crazy, Senator?
You want to trust her the task of searching the Stone of Clients??
You want to hand this Kingdom to a young and childish girl?
You want to hand our lives in her palm???

VO 2
But she is the Princess of this Kingdom!

VO 1
She is not ready!!

VO 2
Then we’ll make her ready!

VO 1
This is crazy!!
She will endanger all the people in this Kingdom!!

(voices of arguing people…)

Stage: During the ‘debate’ – Acornia seems to listen in agony.
And when the arguments escalate, she closes her ears and her eyes…

Stage: The Devil looks happy and win while the Angel looks sad and defeated

And then Stage Clear

Scene 05

Stage: Acornia comes in the stage with a veil covering her face and a bag… She looks very sad…

The Time (V.O)
And so with a broken heart, Acornia is heading to the Kingdom where her uncle welcomes her…
However, in a small village, she meets an old peasant…

Acornia
Excuse me, Sir…
Can I have a glass of water?

Old Peasant
Of course child…
Here you are…

Acornia
Thank you, Sir…
But is there enough water for you and your family?
I know that everything is difficult now…
With things happened in this Kingdom,
don’t you feel afraid of what will happen later?

Old Peasant
(Smiling)
My Dear,
Life is a journey…
Sometimes you need to climb the mountains…
But there are also times when you can enjoy the down road
All we need to do is to keep surviving

Stage: Suddenly, there is a short part of ‘Survivor’ song by Destiny’s child
The peasant dance energetically following the music
But when the music stops, he returns to be a weak peasant; coughing…

Acornia
But it is very difficult sometimes…
Up to the level where you think you can not bear it anymore…

Old Peasant
Yes, there are those times…
(taking a deep breath)
Like the time when I lost my family because of war…
I was devastated… and nearly give up…
But then I realize that it won’t make anything any better…

Acornia
So how did you overcome it?

Old Peasant
HOPE, My Dear…
As long as there is HOPE, there will always be a way…
Be strong and determined…
We will be able to pass it eventually
Although it seems to be very difficult at the first place…

Old Peasant
However, everything depends on us, eventually…
As the choice is in our hands…

Acornia
Do you think there’s still Hope for this Kingdom?

Old Peasant
Certainly, Dear…
We have our Princess Acornia…
She is our HOPE…

Music: awakening (Devdas)

Stage: The peasant leaves the stage
Acornia stunned…
And then cry…

Scene 06

Stage: Acornia still on the stage
And then come the Devil and the Angel into the stage
The Devil is angry, while the angel is happy

The Devil
Acornia!!!
What are you doing?!
Leave this Kingdom at once!!!

The Angel
No, Acornia…
You heard what the peasant said…
There’s always HOPE…

The Devil
Shut up..!!!!!

Stage: The Angel and The Devil are fighting

Note:
- Make the fight as such that it involves the audience
- Go to their tables… chase each other there

Stage: When both are fighting close Acornia, Acornia pulls a dagger / sword and stab the Devil

Acornia
This is MY CHOICE
And I choose HOPE!!

The Devil
(Lying on the floor)
Noooooooooooo…!!

Scene 07

Start the opening music of ‘Dare to Live’ – by Andrea Bocelli Feat. Laura P

Stage: Acornia is in the stage; facing away the Commanders
There are the two Commanders there; reporting to Acornia

Commander I
Report, My Lady,
Your uncle from other Kingdom has already sent his best warriors from his Kingdom to help us on the mission of taking back the Stone of Clients…
Helps are coming, My Lady…

Acornia
(Turning her back – now facing the Commanders)
Commanders…
As you are aware,
This is a huge responsibility.
I’m not afraid anymore…
But I need your every support…
And I’m willing to learn and do whatever it takes to accomplish our mission
For the sake of our people…

Commander I & II
(Together, bow to Acornia)
We are at your service, My Lady…

Music: more of ‘Dare to Live’

Stage: Acornia is making a move to pull up her ‘kain’ up – a transformation from a Princess to be a Warrior

One of the commanders shows the audience a board with a writing:

The Mighty Whip;
Made from the steel of Quality Control
Implemented in each stage of research process

Stage: Acornia practices using the Whip; acted like The Cat Woman
Note: please add the effect of cat voice… (as in Cat Woman)

One of the commanders shows the audience a board with a writing:

The Silver Arrows;
Made from the active credential presentation
And good reputation of your work performance,
Spreading across all directions to find their targets

Stage: Acornia practices using the Arrows… sometimes being corrected by one of the commanders

One of the commanders shows the audience a board with a writing:

The Sword of SKILL;
Made from trainings and tools that the ancestors have had since centuries; FPR, CLoSE and Add+Impact are some of the metal elements that built it

The Golden Shield of AcornCare;;
Made from the strong and close relationships among Acorn people;
Built by the celebration and condolence of daily events,
Where people celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and felt being given attention to; and being worth on their difficult times

Stage: Acornia practices using the Sword and the Shield with Commander
First of all, she’s loosing and fall… (make it humorous, please…J )
But then she tries again, and this time she wins
The opponent Commander loses his sword and surrenders

The Time (V.O)
… And so Acornia made the choice of HOPE…
It’s not an easy choice, though…
Because the path she chooses is a path of challenges and risks ahead…

Stage: Acornia is crowned,
And then she leads the Commanders by standing in front and pointing forward…
The Commanders are ‘mendayung’ behind her….

The Time (V.O)
Do they succeed in the mission, some of you may ask..
Well… this is a journey, anything can happen…
But I think they will make it… eventually
Before then, I shall be their faithful witness
And who knows… I may tell you the ending of this story…

-THE END -

March/April, 2008

Script #2: “INDONESIA: A TRANSFORMATION”

2008-12-01T02:08:00.000-08:00

Scene 01

Narration :

NARRATOR
Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen
In a moment, you are about to experience a journey, knowing the story of Indonesia:
A transformation which involve great people in the process of building our country;
-
“AN ATTRIBUTE TO CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY ON 17TH AUGUST’

Scene 02

Narration :

NARRATOR
Centuries ago, in 14th century, lies some kingdoms within the areas of Indonesia
But it was Majapahit Kingdom that emerged and soars to the sky, as it had the largest area, which reached up to Madagascar and conquered many other small kingdoms

NARRATOR
The success of this kingdom was bounded to a name of a man: GAJAH MADA, who was the General of the Kingdom – a brave and a visionary man who took a famous vow as the prove of his determination for not vonsuming any delicious food (PALAPA) before Majapahit Kingdom is able to conquer all of the areas within Indonesia “SUMPAH PALAPA – THE PALAPA VOW’

Stage: Daniel as Gajahmada, enters the stage,
Props: Sword

GAJAH MADA
(Take out his sword)
I WILL NOT TAKE ANY PALAPA UNTIL MAJAPAHIT CAN CONQUER ALL AREA

Stage: Gajahmada exits the stage

Scene 03

Narration :

NARRATOR
As time went by, many things happened;
Changes in kingdom made it fall – and for several years, Indonesia was divided in smaller kingdoms;

NARRATOR
The beauty of Indonesia and its natural resources attracted the invaders to come and took advantage of the area;

There were fights everywhere within the country;
There was Cut Nyak Dhien in Aceh: - a brave lady who was the leader of the Acehnese to fight the Netherlands

Stage: Nani as Cut Nyak Dhien; took out her ‘Rencong’ and run – as if chasing the enemy, and followed by Bowo and Daniel as the soldiers

CUT NYAK DHIEN
(Take out her sword)
“SERBUUUUUUUUUUUUUU……”
(Followed by Bowo & Daniel who also runs and make some noises)

NARRATOR
There was also ‘Pangeran Hasanudin’ from Sulawesi Island – who had been called ‘AYAM JANTAN DARI TIMUR’ – ‘THE COCK FROM THE EAST’ for his bravery

NARRATOR
There was ‘Pangeran Diponegoro’ from Central of Java – a prince who chose to fight the ‘Ruler’ instead of having wealthy life

Stage: Bowo as Pangeran Diponegoro – riding horse and use the whip

Scene 04

Narration :

NARRATOR
However, as the fights were being done sporadically, their efforts were not able to cast away the invaders

NARRATOR
Hundreds of years passed by…
The youth of the areas in Indonesia realized the need and the importance of having an independent country –
and to be united was the only way to do it

NARRATOR
After all of the tears, blood, and lives taken in the fights against the colonialism,
The youth of Indonesia decided to claim back their freedom and be a whole new and independent country –
It was Sukarno and Hatta who were chosen as the President and Vice President of Indonesia; and proclaiming the historical text of ‘PROKLAMASI’ in 17th August 1945

Stage: Bowo as Bung Karno, and Daniel as Hatta is standing behind him

SOEKARNO
(Reads a Proklamasi Text & translated by the Narrator)

“PROKLAMASI”
Kami bangsa Indonesia
(Narrator: We, the people of Indonesia)

Dengan ini menjatakan kemerdekaan Indonesia
(Narrator: are proclaiming the independence of Indonesia)

Hal-hal jang mengenai pemindahan kekoeasaan d.l.l, diselenggarakan
dengan tjara saksama dan dalam tempoh jang sesingkat-singkatnja.
(Narrator: The things that related to the removal of power etc, would be done in a scrupulous way and in the shortest time )

Djakarta, 17 Agustus 1945,
Atas nama Bangsa Indonesia: Soekarno-Hatta
(Jakarta, 17 August 1945, by the name of the people of Indonesia: Soekarno-Hatta)

Scene 05

Narration :

NARRATOR
Years passed… Things happened within the new independent country.
Threats were coming from both inside and outside of the country
Which made the founding fathers gave the power to the next President of Indonesia: Soeharto

Stage: Bowo as Soeharto, smiling to the audience

NARRATOR
During his time, good and bad things happened – the country was able to build the physical infrastructure, however was not able to build the mentality of the people.
Corruption was everywhere, done by everyone, and seen as a normal thing.
Suharto was able to maintain his power through force,
However, the need for change during the crisis in 1997 was calling out the youth and the students to revive and claim the democracy and forced the President down through the process of what-so- called “REFORMASI” – REFORMATION

NARRATOR
Soeharto was replaced by BJ Habibie; the vice president who used to be the minister of Research and Technology and able to make the first local airplane – “TETUKO”.

Stage: Bowo as BJ Habibie – who smiles and ‘memelotot-melototkan’ his eyes to the audience and holding an airplane

NARRATOR
After his short period, it was Gus Dur who was being elected as the next President.

Stage: Daniel as Gus Dur, and acts as Gus Dur

NARRATOR
However, being unique, the controversies that surrounded him was endless and leads to the replacement process.
Megawati – The daughter of Soekarno, was elected to be the president

Stage: Daniel as Megawati (put on some lipstick, please…!!!) – only smiles and never speaks

NARRATOR
However, her policy of being silence appeared to be not a Gold at all…
In the very first and historical election process, the people of Indonesia chose their President directly.
Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (SBY) was elected to be the next President

Stage: Daniel as SBY – poses as making speech (without voice, and moves his hands)

NARRATOR
During his present time, his government are having the difficulties of trying to survive from all of the natural disasters – and moreover, to keep trying in establishing the justice and reducing the corruption in the country

Stage: Bowo as the corrupter – being arrested and beaten up ( :P )

NARRATOR
Despite of all of the challenges, as long as there is good will, there are still hope for better Indonesia

NARRATOR
And who knows…

Maybe you are seeing one of the future’s most influencing people of Indonesia:
So keep in mind these names:
SATRIA WIRA WIBAWA, (Bowo bows to the audience)
DANIEL PIETER GUSTAAF) (Daniel bows to the audience)
And
NANI HOTIJAH (Daniel bows to the audience)

Stage: The three bow to the audience

--- THE END ---

Jakarta, August 2, 2006

Script #1: “METAMORFOSIS of ACORNIA", an Acorn Indonesia Story

2008-12-01T01:51:00.000-08:00

Scene 01
Narration :

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
This is a story of a girl named Acornia;
In search for her identity

Music Opening
Stage :

A guy wearing a Prince costume; with crown and robe. There is writing on his chest and back part of the robe saying: CLIENTS.
The prince is riding a fake horse (the one which is usually used for ‘Kuda Lumping’) or not riding anything; and act like he is looking for someone/something.
A girl enters the stage with ragged costume. Her face is half covered by a half-face-mask. She is trying to approach the Prince, but she’s hesitated and looks into herself. She doesn’t want to be seen.
Meanwhile, the Prince seemed can’t see the girl, even though they’re already in face-to-face.
At last, the Prince just walk pass by the girl, keep looking for something.
She turns her head to look at the Prince for the last time, and see him away.

Unspeakable pain runs through her half-covered face. And then, she collapsed on the floor.

Music Silence

Scene 02

Stage : Acornia is half-lying on the floor, when a gentle voice wakes her up

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Acornia…
Acornia… !
Wake up, child…

Stage : Acornia wakes up, frightened.

ACORNIA
Who is that?
What do you want from me?

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Now don’t be afraid, my child…
I am your Fairy-God-Mother
I’m here to help you..

(PAUSE)

Stage : Acornia relieved. Not afraid anymore

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
What is it, child?
Why do you look so sad?

ACORNIA
Oh, dear Fairy-God-Mother,
I have lost my love.
The man that passed me by is my fiancé
We have been engaged since we were kids
But now he doesn’t even realize my existence;
Nor I have the dare to touch and reach for him

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Why, my child?

ACORNIA
An evil spirit had put spell on me
I don’t know what to do
FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Don’t panic, little one.
Every problem has its solution.
I believe we can break the spell.
All you have to do is to dig inside your self and your heart.
And you’ll find the answers.

ACORNIA
But, how?

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
That, my child..
Have to be sought by yourself.
Believe in yourself, and everything will be all right.
And do remember: you are Not alone

(THE VOICE OF FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER FADES AWAY)

ACORNIA
Fairy-God-Mother!
Don’t leave me

(THERE IS NO ANSWER)

Scene 03

Stage : Acornia walks back and forth, thinking

ACORNIA
Fairy-God-Mother told me that I have to dig inside of myself..
What is that mean?
What do I have?
What have I learned?

(PAUSE)

ACORNIA
I do have weaknesses…
These are things that trapped me
And sent me away from my love

Stage :

Adhit bring a “tree board”, and Acornia stands right in front of it.
A guy wearing Evil costume; laughing, and carrying writings shaped in multiple weapons, and use them against Acornia. The writings contain “Less Confidence”, “Less infrastructure / facilities”, “Less Quality Control”, “Less Known / Promotion for Clients”, “Less people with skill on tools”.
Acornia looks frighten and provoked

ACORNIA
I know my weaknesses,
But what are my strengths?

(PAUSE)

ACORNIA
I know I have dedicated, loyal and hard-working human resources…

Stage :
Adhit plays Jim : A paper board putted in front of him, saying : Jim. Working hour : 7am-9pm
Adhit poses like a sitting man with glasses and pencil in his mouth, typing. Stop, and turn to the audience, saying: “The school is reaa..lly open”

Adhit plays Frances : ‘Frances’ standing on a tree board which has names of clients and proposal, playing her lips with her fingers, thinking

Adhit plays Nur : ‘Nur’ stands in front of “hands-board”, like Dewi Kala. Each of the hands holds writings such as: “pro-forma”, “invoice”, “administration”, “moving office”, “YET”, etc

Adhit plays Ina : Wear glasses with a writing on her head that marked $

Adhit plays Nurul : Wear a curly-hair-wig, sit and thinking. In front of her, there is a paper board saying : Nurul, working hour : 9am – whatever it takes. Behind her, there are writings say : “Absolute”, “Relative”, “Trend”

Adhit plays P Ronny : Wearing mustache and glasses, standing in front of a tree board with writings saying : “New interviewers”, “Quality Control”, “Honest”, “Accurate”, “On-Time”

ACORNIA
And I have high spirit and beautiful dreams !

Stage : A man wearing colorful shirt, short pants, hat and sun-glasses. Carrying a bag on his back and carrying a signpost with writings saying : “2006 : Company Outing to Bali”, “2008 : Company Outing to South East Asia” and “2010 : Company Outing to Europe”

ACORNIA
I am tough, patient and determined

Music : Wind blows hard

Stage :

A guy pose like a body builder, and then walk as against a hard-blowing wind, avoiding for an invisible strikes (think like Matrix), and keep walking forward

ACORNIA
And the most important thing is : I believe in God’s help

Stage : A guy in a pray position

(SUDDENLY, THE VOICE OF FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER APPEARS)

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Very good, my child.
You finally understand.

(PAUSE)

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Now I will give you MORE weapons beside your strength
for you to fight your evil

(PAUSE)

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
The Sword of SKILL;
Made from trainings of tools that your ancestor have had since centuries;
FPR, CLoSE and Add+Impact are some of the metal elements that built it

Stage : Acornia pose on her knee, accepting a fake sword from a guy

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
The Mighty Whip;
Made from the steel of Quality Control
Implemented in each stage of research process

Stage : Acornia pose on her knee, accepting a fake whip from a guy

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
The Silver Arrows;
Made from the active credential presentation
And good reputation of your work performance,
Spreading across all directions to find their targets

Stage : Acornia pose on her knee, accepting a fake bow and arrows

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
The Golden Shield of AcornCare;
Made from the strong and close relationships among Acorn people;
Built by the celebration and condolence of daily events,
Where people celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and felt being given attention to; and being worth on their difficult times

Stage : Acornia pose on her knee, accepting a fake shield

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
…And the last but not least;
Do remember that you are Not alone
You have all the spirit and support from your own very parents;

Stage : Microsoft Power Points : face of Kim Lean and Chong Wah slowly appears;
Or; there is a guy holding pictures of both of them

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
You Will be able to defeat any evil,
As their wishes
Be the feathers of your wings;
And their sphere of hopes
Have your companion,
Where ever you are

Scene 04

Stage : Out of no where, an evil come to the stage, approaching Acornia with bunch of weaknesses weapons, laughing.

ACORNIA
Hey evil spirit!
I’m not afraid of you anymore!
I’ll fight you ‘till the last drop of my blood!

Stage :

Acornia and The Evil fight with their weapons until they’re running out their weapons.
The music suddenly change into the ‘Pencak Silat’ music.
Acornia and the evil continue to fight without weapons (movements to be arranged accordingly), until the time when Acornia knocked the evil down the floor, and put a piece of paper on the forehead of the evil (think like a Chinese priest put on the yellow-spell-paper to a Chinese vampire).
And then, the Evil left the stage by jumping (just like a chinese vampire will do)

(and then, there is the voice of the Fairy-God-Mother)

Music : Soothing-relieving-soul music

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
Well done, child..
Now you have learned and understand,
That the evil spirit comes from your-own-very-self;
And can only defeated by your own-very-self
And not forget to respect yourself;
Only in that way that people will respect you

(PAUSE)

Scene 05 : Last Scene

Stage :

A guy bring a paper square; shaped like a big frame; big enough to cover Acornia’s body from the eye sights. (The guy also bring other things: butterfly wings, flowers (or little gifts) and kertas manik-manik kecil; unseen by the audience
Acornia to wear the butterfly wings and the flower crown.

Music : You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
… And soon, my child…
You’ll be as beautiful as the ocean pearl..
Your wings will be strong enough.. to fly against the stormy wind

Stage : The guy to throw the kertas manik-manik kecil up in the air;
Acornia to slowly walk through the paper and pose a little while.
Eyes stare on the audience’s eyes, and smile.
The guy to leave the stage.

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
..And you shall bring with you
The greatest hope!
.. For all of your people :
Joy
And
Happiness
You shall become the gift it self for your people

Stage : Acornia to give the flowers (or the little gifts) to the audience

FAIRY-GOD-MOTHER (V.O)
…And when the time comes,
You’ll know that you really ARE : ACORNIA,
ACORN INDONESIA

Stage :

In the center of the stage, Acornia gives bow to the audience.
After a while, the Prince joins to give bouquet / a flower to Acornia, and kiss her hand on his knee. Acornia smells it and smile. They holding hands, and bow together to the audience.

--- THE END ---

Jakarta, August 10, 2004

Bendera Setengah Tiang

2008-11-27T01:38:00.001-08:00

Reading the news about the bombing in Mumbai, India http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_india_shooting, it is shocking how human are thirsty for others' blood and lives; playing God.

... And how misunderstanding and mis-interpretation of teaching can turn into collective extreme ego; moving far away from its pure and beautiful essence of peace and bless to this beautiful earth we are living.

Don't really know whether the winning of Obama in US can make any difference.
But one should not lose faith; or hope.
'Coz that's what keeping us going.

This happening also reminds me of an email I wrote to a friend in last 2006; when there were offensive caricatures of the Holy Prophet Muhammad; and strong reactions on that:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just want to share a piece of mind...
What I would say about the publication here is that most of the people are curious about the cartoons; as most of them don't have the access to internet while it is of course forbidden for the media to publish any of the pictures.

I have seen the pictures.
And I do think that the newspaper had very bad and wrong judgement and also lack of knowledge.
I think Muslims around the world would consider it as a big insult of the holy Prophet Muhammad.

However, looking at the bigger picture, we need also to learn where this is all come from.

As we (my parents and I) discussed, sadly we would say that violence and terrorism that took place anywhere in the world by the name of Islam may responsible for sending the very wrong image and understanding about the character of the holy Prophet Muhammad.

As By The Name of God, he is actually the most noble person ever created in the world!

So noble that the God himself claimed that He would not created the world if it is not for him.

He speaks the language of love, empathy and forgiveness to all man kind...

Teaching nothing but care to each other and share nothing but compassion to all man kind.

Spreading kindness and goodness in his devotion to the Lord of the Life.

Suffered so much yet so full of mercy even to the very worst enemy, where he would pray for God to show them the way instead of destroyed them - while he actually could've done that...

And how he loved all of us so that even when he closed to death, what he think and worried most is all of us...
Whether we can actually passed the test of life, and choose to be in God's way, where there and only there would we find the true safety and happiness.

So our reactions were that we are very sad that people around the world, the very people that he cared and love has this very, very wrong image about him..

But it would also wise to see what are the background and the reasons of this anger and hatred (which forms in the shape of violence and terrorism).
Would it be the bad external policies of what so-called the civilized and democratic countries??

It's like a 'lingkaran setan'... where we could not find the way out of this.

However, I do not lose the faith.
I still believe that one can actually make difference.
I still have the faith that if we truly are trying, then we may eventually send the 'correct' message about the true beauty of Islam and also of course the holy Prophet Muhammad himself, God be with him.

Insya Allah.

As we owe him so much.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This Morning

2008-11-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

November 6th, 2007

Unexpectedly, for a glimpse,
this morning the sky of Jakarta were clearly blue.
And this, reminded me of you.

I asked the breeze, could he ever go so far,
to find a man and give him a bouquet of flowers in a crystal jar.

Or, shall I ask the sun,
to touch him warm on his skin,
As protecting him from the cold, is something I’m very keen.

And how I miss the gift of the great prophet Solomon,
to tell him through the singing of birds,
or simply through a meouw of his cat - how he is loved.

Our Own Very First Fridge and Home Phone

2008-11-25T22:56:00.000-08:00

August 28th, 2007

Good morning!

Last Saturday, Dayu and I went to Carrefour.
We bought a wireless home-phone and a fridge.
We already have the intention to buy those things before.

Dayu is best in choosing things to buy because she is thorough and careful and full of considerations.
She would ask what are the meaning of this and that and how is it to compare with other brands, etc.

And so I think we got a good product eventually (for the fridge).

It is a Toshiba - a two-doors fridge, non CFC, 180 L in capacity; has deodorizer to prevent smell
from contaminating other items in the fridge; and the more important thing is that it is the most energy-saving.

It only needs 70 watts while others with more or less similar spec would need more than 100 or even more than 200 watts.
So that’s good.

Moreover, they charge us none for delivery which was done the next day.

For the wifone - well, Esia is the only brand there is.
And so we took Esia.
We got home and bring back the phone; but we didn’t tell our parents that we bought the fridge.
We decided that it was going to be a surprise.

That night, we ended the day by calling my brother and his wife..

It was fun. Our parents seemed to be happy.

The next day, we found that the phone has already covered by a cute phone cover.
It turns out that she has already has and keep it just incase…

She also wonders why no body called so that she can picked it up and answered…
But ofcourse it was because no body knew our number yet… :)

But the best was when those men finally delivered the fridge.

My mom was very surprised, nervous and a bit panicked…
But definitely happy and overwhelmed…

It’s good to see her wide smile… and it never got off her face the entire day…
She was even ‘bersujud syukur’…

And then she did funny things like touching and hugging the fridge,
Looked and open it…
If we had camera, she even wanted us to take a picture of her and the fridge!! :))

For technical reason, the fridge was not suppose to be turned on until another 6 hours since it arrived to our house - this is to stabilize whatever the thing inside…

And since it arrived at around 4.30 pm, my parents woke up until 11 pm last night (maybe more)… just to experience ‘the moment’ - of turning on the fridge… :))

Have a wonderful day!

Love Story: The Closing Chapter

2008-11-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

Girl:

"Hope this email finds you arrived home safe and well...

We hardly able to talk in this trip, so I don't actually know what happen at your end...

I wish everything went smooth this time.

Another thing I want to touch is about my so called 'behavior especially in your last two trips.

You may found me very 'weird' or 'extreme' :P

But it's OK..

You may even found me irritating and upsetting..

For that, I apologize.

I will try to explain it (eventhough you may not require it; or even want it)

I'm doing this because I learned that 'time' (praise God for it) can sometimes be tricky.

It can be felt as forever; but it can also slipped away as a blink without we know it.

I wish we can have forever; but we don't.

And I don't want to be one of those people who regret things at the end of the day...

And so I'm asking you to bear with me for a while...

This is a story about a girl you and I know very well."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a girl who has been having her feeling for a guy for quite sometimes.

Don’t ask her why, because she doesn’t know it either.
And don’t tell her about how crazy it is - (for huge differences which exist
in the eyes of the common people) - because it is simply how she feels about him.

There were moments when she wished she could tell her heart what to feel;
but she couldn’t.

Because her heart is free. It won’t listen to her.

Her feeling towards him, however, having the same essence over times, had been
evolved and transformed in many forms.

There were times when it was trapped in a typical format of ‘wanting to own;
wanting to possess’ - which is not a wise format of feeling to have.
Because she suffers - for the jealousy and sadness which occur,
for wanting him to be always around only for her…

And so she tried to ‘transform’ her feeling into a more ‘mature’ format (at least for her).
She simply change her way of thinking…

Returns to the values she always believes into: giving without expecting returns.

Just like what he told her once: "what we can do is to do our best. If other people
turn to be good to us, that’s a bonus".

It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want a return from him…
because if it happens, it would be one of the most beautiful blesses she ever receive…

But she learns not to expect it.
She learns to appreciate and treasure what she could have - instead of regretting what she could not have.

And so she learns to be already grateful and thankful if she can find him healthy, safe, and happy.

She wishes that he could be ‘home’ where ever he is.
Even if she is not a part of it.

She is willing to accept and be happy even if someone else take a good care of him.
Because it is him who is important.
Not her feeling.

And because she-too awares the value of time,
She is encouraging herself to be honest to him about her feeling.

With hoping that he wouldn’t be terrified or intimidated.

If it turns out that he does not feel comfortable about her attention or her feeling
towards him, she is willing to back off.
Because again, it is him who matters.

She would be grateful and happy for the memories she has with him.
Although he may not realize or even aware of it.

Ah, to have that free feeling of giving, is such a wonderful feeling.

She only wants him to know that he will never be alone in this world;
because he would always has her heart and her prays around him.
Where ever he is.

She also wants him to know that he is a very important person in her eyes,
and in her life, and hope that he would take care of himself.
As she couldn’t bear it if there is anything bad happens to him.

She also wants him to know that at what ever part of the world he may be,
There would be someone in another part of the world - wishing him every goodness
on earth..

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl:

"I apologize if you find this boring;

But it's a true story.

Wish you good."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guy:

"No, your story, and your feelings, are not boring or weird or extreme or anything like that.

How nice it is to be normal, and real, and have human desires and reactions.

There is nothing wrong with that girl.

She talks about 'time', which is the biggest curse for all of us. One day everything is limitless. The next day, well, "We can't do this, because..."

Life as we know it is one big trade-off. We can do some things and not others.

If circumstances were different, who knows.

The guy this girl is talking about wants and needs to be professional at all times because he has seen the consequences of others, and almost himself, when they are not. Maturity has nothing to do with it. It's just an obligations as sure as those that bind her to the hijab or ro the other road markers in your life. And she is also is professional. "

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl:

"I wonder...

Isn't exhausting for him to be always a professional at all times?

Are there times when he is simply a 'human'?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guy:

"When he has been 'human', especially in far-away countries, and except for one or teo or three people who understand and respect human nature, he has been more or less totally punished for it.

Certainly he had to stop working because of it.

But he can walk with his head high and be secure in the idea that his name is clean

That lucky guy."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl:

"As she is also a professional,

Is it possible to be a professional and human at the same time?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guy:

"We wonder. The world doesn't help us be so."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--END OF CHAPTER--

Being Different

2008-11-25T22:39:00.000-08:00

Remember when I asked you about whether we belong to certain place/community/people?

Actually, it was something that I felt recently.
With the new people come, and as I know them until now,
I felt more and more ‘different’.
Different interest, different point of views, different everything..

And it made me felt.. alienated. An alien in a ‘civilized’ environment.
And it gave me this strange and uncomfortable feeling.I felt small and at some point just being ‘not fit’ and ‘not belong’

But I think it over, and I also think of what you said,
I tried to look me-being-’different’ in a different perspective.
I found that there is other way to look at it.

Different can make me an ‘alien’.
But it can also make me ’special’.

And guess what??
Being special is not at all bad or ashamedful!

It is sometime even make me ‘better’.
I have different ways, different interests and different views - which is completely fine!

I may not being ‘modern’ or ‘noble’ in the eyes of the world…
But again, is it all that important??

Don’t I care much more to try my best to be at least ‘worth’ in the eyes of ‘The Owner of The Universe’?
Or at least in the eyes of my own heart, my own conscious.

That is what important to me.

God, how I’ve been foolish…
If I tried to be what I’m not, I won’t be happy.
Because it simply isn’t me.

If I do it, I would betray and deny all of the blesses in my life! being ungrateful..
That would be the wrong thing,

So, now I would consider myself as being ’special’.
Feeling grateful about all the things I have and feeling good for being simply who I really am.

I am special.
And I am proud of it.

Thanks for reading.
Ratu