For a Wanderer Soul

I am trying
to reach the point where I can forgive you
and able to look back the memories with the touch of smile

I know I will reach that point.

Walking wounded, I may now
And shattered, you can say so…
But I will heal by the time goes by
As I would realize,
That I am worth more than just mourning the lost love

It does not matter how long it was spent,
as the love, care and hopes mounted are not bind to the dimension of time
they grew faster than the harvested rice field

Ah, if only there is a way to master the destiny
I would fill your life
with nothing but the colours of rainbow,
the sweetest of honey bee,
the fresh of morning due,
and the peace of the sound of water flows on the mountain

But who am I to tell someone’s heart?
not even Kings can order how it should be
as The True Owner Himself has given the bless of freedom upon it
and it may not be the things you desire

Dear wanderer soul,
In this wide universe of skies,
I sincerely wish you can find what you are looking for

Just watch your steps, if I may ask,
as sometimes the world hides endless through
And be careful,
as mines of traps can be spread around,
disguised under the sparks of beauties
- - -

I am heading
to the point where I will forgive you
and able to look back the memories with the touch of smile;
Healed.

I know I’ll get there.
Soon.

Read More....

Cerita si Papan Tulis (arsip jadul SMU 3 IPA 2)

Hoaaaaahmmmm....
Waaaahhh... udah pagi lagi
Oh iya, hari ini masuk tahun ajaran baru nih!
Setelah kurang lebih sebulan ditelantarin... akhirnya bakalan diperhatiin lagi sama anak anak..
Walaupun kadang nyebelin. Habis badanku yang mulus jadi kayak buah cempedak... putih semua..
Tapi itu emang udah tugasku sih.

Setelah tiga minggu, suasana yang kaku sudah mulai berganti akrab.
Aku sendiri sudah mulai hafal dengan wajah, nama dan tabiat mereka.
Ada Rizky yang suka jahil, Ernest yang... rada rada aneh kali ya... Koko - Toto yang suka ngocol, Rianti yang lincah, Sukma - Suzanny yang suka main bulu tangkis (waaaa...ngarang! itu mah Susi Susanti, Lily yang serius, Tigor yang jago bola...
Ada juga barisan anak anak maniesz yang berjilbab - ada Yovanka, Cindy, Nur Azizah, Ratu, Diah..
Oh iya, ada anak baru lho.. namanya Rendy. Tapi ya, ampuuunn...! Tiduuuurrr aja kerjaannya.

Tapi baru beberapa minggu, sudah ada anak yang pindah kelas. Jadi posisi ketua kelas sekarang dipegang sama anak yang namanya Widi. Dan masih banyak lagi anak yang lain yang bermacam macam tabiatnya.

Hmmmm.... sudah beberapa bulan aku jadi tumpuan tulisan di kelas ini. Otomatis aku sudah banyak menyaksikan peristiwa yang terjadi pada anak anak itu...

Gelak tawa mereka waktu Pak Simamora becerita tentang masa mudanya, atau muka tegang mereka saat diajari Bu Wiwi (kikikikikikik). Kegelisahan dan celingak celinguk mereka saat waktunya ulangan.. kekhawatiran dan perhatian mereka saat si Koko jatuh waktu olahraga.

Akupun pernah dijadikan alat untuk menghukum mereka.
Saat itu pas pelajaran fisika. Kebetulan yang mengajar waktu itu adalah wali kelas mereka, Pak Marzuki Siregar.
Entah kenapa, semua anak laki laki di kelas ini membenturkan kepalanya padaku.
Ada yang langsung... ada yang ragu ragu... ada yang mantap, ada juga yang pasrah... hahahahahahah....

Bikin geli sih kalau dipikir pikir... tapi haduuuhhhh... apa mereka ngga tau kalau badanku jadi sakit semua...

Tapi dua hari setelah peristiwa itu, aku menyaksikan hal yang luar biasa.
Anak anak itu menyiapkan sebuah kue ulang tahun untuk wali kelas mereka, tanpa ada rasa dendam.

Tidak bisa kulupakan ekspresi wajah yang terpancar dari Pak Siregar.
Kelihatan sekali bahwa ia sangat terharu ketika anak anak menyanyikan lagu ulang tahun dan memberi selamat satu persatu kepadanya.
Ah, rupanya guru yang terkenal galak ini ternyata bisa terharu juga, ya...

Dan kini, tak terasa tinggal dua bulan lagi mereka akan pergi dari kelas ini.
Walaupun berbeda-beda, tapi mereka ounya satu kelebihan yang menjadikan mereka 'lebih' daripada yang lain yaitu 'kekompakan'.

Yahhh... walaupun aku jarang diperhatikan, tapi aku cukup bangga jadi papan tulis kelas mereka.. :)




Read More....

Letter to you, 26 July 2010, 00.10

Assalamualaikum wr, wb

Kanda, how are you?
Hope you're doing fine..

My goodness, we have not been talking for quite a while, have we?

There were soo... many things happened in my end. And most of them were the process and results of my stubborn-ness, my pride, my stupidity.

And for all 'bad' things that happened to me, I always tried to blame and look for everybody's faults, except my own.
And all those times, I felt anxious worry, upset, angry... and not happy.

And so my conscious alerted me that there got to be something wrong.
And only when I begin to to look into myself, I could see things clearer.
The only one who was responsible for my unhappiness is actually myself.

I was too proud of myself, of what I could do, of what I have given, of what I have...

While the truth is: I have nothing.
And I can do none.
That all the things that I thought I have are actually owned by God.
All the abilities, talents, knowledge, achievements, belonging are 'amanah' or 'responsibilities' that I need to take a very careful of.

And my, how I was blind to think that I am 'someone' or 'something'... that I feel that I 'can'. Or in Sundanese 'ngarasa bisa'.

Because once I think that 'I can' or 'enough' - then I stop improving.
And when someone stops improving, they will stuck at where ever they are, like a frog inside a coconut shell. Feels that he / she is at the top, but it really is not.

May God grants us a continuous self-awareness to realize that we are only His humble creatures, could do nothing without His help.

And may He always lighten up our ways.

Good night, Kanda...
Sleep and rest well...

Read More....