Bendera Setengah Tiang

Reading the news about the bombing in Mumbai, India http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_india_shooting, it is shocking how human are thirsty for others' blood and lives; playing God.

... And how misunderstanding and mis-interpretation of teaching can turn into collective extreme ego; moving far away from its pure and beautiful essence of peace and bless to this beautiful earth we are living.


Don't really know whether the winning of Obama in US can make any difference.
But one should not lose faith; or hope.
'Coz that's what keeping us going.

This happening also reminds me of an email I wrote to a friend in last 2006; when there were offensive caricatures of the Holy Prophet Muhammad; and strong reactions on that:

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Just want to share a piece of mind...
What I would say about the publication here is that most of the people are curious about the cartoons; as most of them don't have the access to internet while it is of course forbidden for the media to publish any of the pictures.

I have seen the pictures.
And I do think that the newspaper had very bad and wrong judgement and also lack of knowledge.
I think Muslims around the world would consider it as a big insult of the holy Prophet Muhammad.

However, looking at the bigger picture, we need also to learn where this is all come from.

As we (my parents and I) discussed, sadly we would say that violence and terrorism that took place anywhere in the world by the name of Islam may responsible for sending the very wrong image and understanding about the character of the holy Prophet Muhammad.

As By The Name of God, he is actually the most noble person ever created in the world!

So noble that the God himself claimed that He would not created the world if it is not for him.

He speaks the language of love, empathy and forgiveness to all man kind...

Teaching nothing but care to each other and share nothing but compassion to all man kind.

Spreading kindness and goodness in his devotion to the Lord of the Life.

Suffered so much yet so full of mercy even to the very worst enemy, where he would pray for God to show them the way instead of destroyed them - while he actually could've done that...

And how he loved all of us so that even when he closed to death, what he think and worried most is all of us...
Whether we can actually passed the test of life, and choose to be in God's way, where there and only there would we find the true safety and happiness.

So our reactions were that we are very sad that people around the world, the very people that he cared and love has this very, very wrong image about him..

But it would also wise to see what are the background and the reasons of this anger and hatred (which forms in the shape of violence and terrorism).
Would it be the bad external policies of what so-called the civilized and democratic countries??

It's like a 'lingkaran setan'... where we could not find the way out of this.

However, I do not lose the faith.
I still believe that one can actually make difference.
I still have the faith that if we truly are trying, then we may eventually send the 'correct' message about the true beauty of Islam and also of course the holy Prophet Muhammad himself, God be with him.

Insya Allah.

As we owe him so much.

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This Morning

November 6th, 2007


Unexpectedly, for a glimpse,
this morning the sky of Jakarta were clearly blue.
And this, reminded me of you.

I asked the breeze, could he ever go so far,
to find a man and give him a bouquet of flowers in a crystal jar.


Or, shall I ask the sun,
to touch him warm on his skin,
As protecting him from the cold, is something I’m very keen.

And how I miss the gift of the great prophet Solomon,
to tell him through the singing of birds,
or simply through a meouw of his cat - how he is loved.
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Our Own Very First Fridge and Home Phone

August 28th, 2007

Good morning!

Last Saturday, Dayu and I went to Carrefour.
We bought a wireless home-phone and a fridge.
We already have the intention to buy those things before.

Dayu is best in choosing things to buy because she is thorough and careful and full of considerations.
She would ask what are the meaning of this and that and how is it to compare with other brands, etc.

And so I think we got a good product eventually (for the fridge).

It is a Toshiba - a two-doors fridge, non CFC, 180 L in capacity; has deodorizer to prevent smell
from contaminating other items in the fridge; and the more important thing is that it is the most energy-saving.

It only needs 70 watts while others with more or less similar spec would need more than 100 or even more than 200 watts.
So that’s good.

Moreover, they charge us none for delivery which was done the next day.

For the wifone - well, Esia is the only brand there is.
And so we took Esia.
We got home and bring back the phone; but we didn’t tell our parents that we bought the fridge.
We decided that it was going to be a surprise.

That night, we ended the day by calling my brother and his wife..

It was fun. Our parents seemed to be happy.

The next day, we found that the phone has already covered by a cute phone cover.
It turns out that she has already has and keep it just incase…

She also wonders why no body called so that she can picked it up and answered…
But ofcourse it was because no body knew our number yet… :)

But the best was when those men finally delivered the fridge.

My mom was very surprised, nervous and a bit panicked…
But definitely happy and overwhelmed…

It’s good to see her wide smile… and it never got off her face the entire day…
She was even ‘bersujud syukur’…

And then she did funny things like touching and hugging the fridge,
Looked and open it…
If we had camera, she even wanted us to take a picture of her and the fridge!! :))

For technical reason, the fridge was not suppose to be turned on until another 6 hours since it arrived to our house - this is to stabilize whatever the thing inside…

And since it arrived at around 4.30 pm, my parents woke up until 11 pm last night (maybe more)… just to experience ‘the moment’ - of turning on the fridge… :))

Have a wonderful day!

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Love Story: The Closing Chapter

Girl:

"Hope this email finds you arrived home safe and well...

We hardly able to talk in this trip, so I don't actually know what happen at your end...

I wish everything went smooth this time.

Another thing I want to touch is about my so called 'behavior especially in your last two trips.

You may found me very 'weird' or 'extreme' :P

But it's OK..

You may even found me irritating and upsetting..

For that, I apologize.

I will try to explain it (eventhough you may not require it; or even want it)

I'm doing this because I learned that 'time' (praise God for it) can sometimes be tricky.

It can be felt as forever; but it can also slipped away as a blink without we know it.

I wish we can have forever; but we don't.

And I don't want to be one of those people who regret things at the end of the day...

And so I'm asking you to bear with me for a while...

This is a story about a girl you and I know very well."

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There is a girl who has been having her feeling for a guy for quite sometimes.

Don’t ask her why, because she doesn’t know it either.
And don’t tell her about how crazy it is - (for huge differences which exist
in the eyes of the common people) - because it is simply how she feels about him.

There were moments when she wished she could tell her heart what to feel;
but she couldn’t.

Because her heart is free. It won’t listen to her.

Her feeling towards him, however, having the same essence over times, had been
evolved and transformed in many forms.

There were times when it was trapped in a typical format of ‘wanting to own;
wanting to possess’ - which is not a wise format of feeling to have.
Because she suffers - for the jealousy and sadness which occur,
for wanting him to be always around only for her…

And so she tried to ‘transform’ her feeling into a more ‘mature’ format (at least for her).
She simply change her way of thinking…

Returns to the values she always believes into: giving without expecting returns.

Just like what he told her once: "what we can do is to do our best. If other people
turn to be good to us, that’s a bonus".

It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want a return from him…
because if it happens, it would be one of the most beautiful blesses she ever receive…

But she learns not to expect it.
She learns to appreciate and treasure what she could have - instead of regretting what she could not have.

And so she learns to be already grateful and thankful if she can find him healthy, safe, and happy.

She wishes that he could be ‘home’ where ever he is.
Even if she is not a part of it.

She is willing to accept and be happy even if someone else take a good care of him.
Because it is him who is important.
Not her feeling.

And because she-too awares the value of time,
She is encouraging herself to be honest to him about her feeling.

With hoping that he wouldn’t be terrified or intimidated.

If it turns out that he does not feel comfortable about her attention or her feeling
towards him, she is willing to back off.
Because again, it is him who matters.

She would be grateful and happy for the memories she has with him.
Although he may not realize or even aware of it.

Ah, to have that free feeling of giving, is such a wonderful feeling.

She only wants him to know that he will never be alone in this world;
because he would always has her heart and her prays around him.
Where ever he is.

She also wants him to know that he is a very important person in her eyes,
and in her life, and hope that he would take care of himself.
As she couldn’t bear it if there is anything bad happens to him.

She also wants him to know that at what ever part of the world he may be,
There would be someone in another part of the world - wishing him every goodness
on earth..

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Girl:

"I apologize if you find this boring;

But it's a true story.

Wish you good."

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Guy:

"No, your story, and your feelings, are not boring or weird or extreme or anything like that.

How nice it is to be normal, and real, and have human desires and reactions.

There is nothing wrong with that girl.

She talks about 'time', which is the biggest curse for all of us. One day everything is limitless. The next day, well, "We can't do this, because..."

Life as we know it is one big trade-off. We can do some things and not others.

If circumstances were different, who knows.

The guy this girl is talking about wants and needs to be professional at all times because he has seen the consequences of others, and almost himself, when they are not. Maturity has nothing to do with it. It's just an obligations as sure as those that bind her to the hijab or ro the other road markers in your life. And she is also is professional. "

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Girl:

"I wonder...

Isn't exhausting for him to be always a professional at all times?

Are there times when he is simply a 'human'?"

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Guy:

"When he has been 'human', especially in far-away countries, and except for one or teo or three people who understand and respect human nature, he has been more or less totally punished for it.

Certainly he had to stop working because of it.

But he can walk with his head high and be secure in the idea that his name is clean

That lucky guy."

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Girl:

"As she is also a professional,

Is it possible to be a professional and human at the same time?"

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Guy:

"We wonder. The world doesn't help us be so."

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--END OF CHAPTER--

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Being Different

Remember when I asked you about whether we belong to certain place/community/people?

Actually, it was something that I felt recently.
With the new people come, and as I know them until now,
I felt more and more ‘different’.
Different interest, different point of views, different everything..

And it made me felt.. alienated. An alien in a ‘civilized’ environment.
And it gave me this strange and uncomfortable feeling.I felt small and at some point just being ‘not fit’ and ‘not belong’

But I think it over, and I also think of what you said,
I tried to look me-being-’different’ in a different perspective.
I found that there is other way to look at it.

Different can make me an ‘alien’.
But it can also make me ’special’.

And guess what??
Being special is not at all bad or ashamedful!

It is sometime even make me ‘better’.
I have different ways, different interests and different views - which is completely fine!

I may not being ‘modern’ or ‘noble’ in the eyes of the world…
But again, is it all that important??

Don’t I care much more to try my best to be at least ‘worth’ in the eyes of ‘The Owner of The Universe’?
Or at least in the eyes of my own heart, my own conscious.

That is what important to me.

God, how I’ve been foolish…
If I tried to be what I’m not, I won’t be happy.
Because it simply isn’t me.

If I do it, I would betray and deny all of the blesses in my life! being ungrateful..
That would be the wrong thing,

So, now I would consider myself as being ’special’.
Feeling grateful about all the things I have and feeling good for being simply who I really am.

I am special.
And I am proud of it.

Thanks for reading.
Ratu
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